Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Voting, Kindermusik and a mini rant

Back from voting! The boys handled waiting in line well. I think I had the fear of all things evil in Noah because he stood and held my hand for most of the wait.

I always get a little feeling of anxiety when I'm voting. I think mostly because I'm afraid I'm going to mess up. And today, when it's so very important I really didn't want to fuck up! So I double, triple checked everything before pushing the green button.

Embarassing story - when I was in college I went to vote for the Bush/Clinton election. It was the first time I had voted in a booth with levers. I didn't realize you had to pull the big lever at the end to open the curtain and register your vote. I set all the little levers, then stood there thinking, well shit, if I leave them set the next person will know who I voted for, guess I have to set them all back. So yeah, talk about an intelligent idiot! My vote didn't register at all.

I'm pretty confident I did it correctly this time though!

Before going to vote we went to Kindermusik. I took the portable DVD player for Noah to watch a movie. We didn't even make it through the welcome song before we left. He flat out refused to sit and watch the movie, or just sit and watch the class. So, once again because of Noah we had to leave something early.

I wish I didn't get so embarassed by these things. Noah looks so "normal" that when he acts like this it really just looks like he's being a brat and I don't know how to handle him. Hell, I'm not so sure anymore that isn't really the case. I really just wanted to smack him. What a great mother I am.

I was pretty angry when we had to leave. And he could tell. I think that's probably why he did so well waiting to vote.

There were other older brothers and sisters there waiting on the side and they did just fine. Will we ever reach a time when we can do normal family activities together and I don't dread having to spend the day alone with Noah?



  1. I don't know honey. It has been 11 years and I still haven't gotten there. I am more patient, and I know better than to try some stuff with him. But I still get angry when his unpredictability "ruins" an outing. Hugs. Good for you for voting. Done on for me today too.

  2. Me too. Bear come home from school and exploded into a self-seeking, sad, angry, throwing things, screaming mess. I lugged her upstairs and then the next minute she was clinging to my leg begging, "stay with me! Please don't go! I need you! I need you!".

    I called the school. Their field trip had been unexptectdly canceled this morning. She stowed all her tranistion anxiety until she got home then...let 'er rip!

    (big sigh) - The testing continues but the behaviors worsen as the anxiety goes up!

  3. I don't know if this will help, having not parented a child with the same types of issues, but when my kids were younger (and I still do it now, only it's rarely necessary anymore), whatever they valued most was put on the top of the fridge when they wouldn't behave. It required one time of dealing with the tantrum over losing the item and sticking to your guns for however long you said the item would be gone. After that, any misbehavior stopped the minute I said the aforesaid treasured item would be put up (for one day, two days, whatever). Obviously over time the treasured items changed - for Grace it was originally her doll Lollie, now it's her boy style carpenter jeans. Don't know if it'll work in your situation, and maybe you've already tried it, but I figured I'd throw it out there for what it's worth. Congrats on your guy winning, and I'm thinking of you with all of your stress with Noah.