Lightening things up with a visit to Santa!

Yesterday, we took the boys to Springfield Mall to see Santa. The mall offered us free pictures plus a very nice gift bag and some gift certificates so I jumped at the chance. I rarely have a chance anymore to take advantage of mom blog events, so I was thrilled we could do this one.

We had "fast pass" access (yes, I did feel guilty when I saw how long the line was), and it was awesome!

Noah pretty much raced up to Santa and plopped himself down right between his legs, leaving no room for Kiel. I got him rearranged and Kiel settled and then smiles and clicks and we had two photos to choose from. While I picked the pic, Santa asked what they wanted for Christmas.
 

Noah wants 50 pounds of bubble gum in his stocking. Pink. With red dye. Santa got a chuckle out of that one.*

Kiel wants Transformers.

After we recieved our pictures (again, thanks Springfield Mall for the full package, plus a $20 gift card to Shutterfly!) Rich and I split up with the kids to help them do their Christmas shopping. I took Kiel first and we quickly took care of his present for Rich. Then we wandered through several stores (including a dollar store and the Disney store where Kiel found lots of things he wanted so he thought they would be perfect for Noah). 

Eventually we ended up at Target, where we ran into Rich and Noah. Noah took me through the toy aisles to show me a few things he liked, then Kiel and I went back and I worked hard at steering Kiel to toys Noah liked, not toys Kiel wanted. I have some work to do with Kiel on what gift giving means. 

We finally finished our mission and Rich took everything to pay while I took the boys back into the mall to wait. It was insanely busy in Target in the toy area and I may have had a mini anxiety attack where I told Rich I had to get the f*&k out of there and got a little bossy about what we were going to do next. OK fine, the bossy part had nothing to do with the anxiety. I'm just bossy.

See behind the boys into the entrance of Target? I tried to take the cart out in my rush to get away from all the peoples. Alarms went off. Then the cart wouldn't move. Something in the floor(?) locked the wheels or did something so I couldn't push the cart forward. I got a little flustered. Noah saved me. 

Well, actually, I grabbed my purse and bag of goodies and pretty much shoved the cart to Noah to take back into the store. I was proud of him. He managed his mother well in her moment of crisis.

Yes, this is how I felt then. And no, the picture above it is not of the boys comforting each other while they waited for Rich to save them. I'm shocked you would even think that.

After that we went to Carrabba's Italian Grill for dinner. I had a blackberry sangria and life was good. Our waiter thought the boys were great (despite, maybe because of?, the shoe and sock that went flying out of the booth and the under-booth wrestling that followed I was too busy looking at the drinks menu to notice). He didn't even blink when I told him I needed something big and fruity to drink - just recommended the sangria.

Our dinner was great and both boys shared their chocolate sundaes with us at the end. 

Then Noah and I went to Macy's to pick out a tie for Rich (shhh...don't tell him, I want it to be a surprise). I had to explain to Noah that it might make his dad a little uncomfortable if he bought him a Christmas tie, considering he was Jewish. So then Noah decided to pick out a tie that looked Jewish. I don't quite know what he considers "Jewish looking," but he found several that he felt met the criteria. He has good taste. (I did have to tell him not to bother looking at the Don.ald Tru.mp table, because we were boycotting The Don.ald. He didn't even roll his eyes at me, he just moved on.)

On our way out to meet Rich and Kiel we went past the makeup counters. One of them had very loud music playing. I commented to Noah that I really must be getting old, because there was no way I could pick out makeup with music playing that loud. 

He laughed and said "Mom, you aren't old, you'll never be old. You can do anything." (And that Noah, is why you are my favorite child!)

It was a great afternoon and we all enjoyed ourselves. I'm very appreciative of Springfield Mall for the invitation and all the goodies. I don't think we would have taken the boys to see Santa this year (because I'm cheap about paying for pictures of Santa and will do anything not to go to a mall during the holidays) if it hadn't been for this offer.

*Santa better come through on this one. Noah still talks about the year he was three and he asked Santa for a Chick race car from the Cars movie. His request to Santa that year was the first we heard him mention Chick, and when we checked into it we realized Chick was the "mean" car in the movie, so we didn't get it for him. We got him a bunch of other cars that year, but not Chick. Who knew he would still remember that six years later. Just another awesome parenting moment. Oy.

 

On comments and toilet installations

Lies and Beemommy, thank you for putting a big smile on my face with your comments! (Lies, thanks for telling me how to pronounce your name, too!) And GB's Mom, you know how much I love you!

Comments are the chocolate butter-cream frosting on the cake of blogging. I love cake, like really, love me some cake, but it is always better with some frosting on top! I blog because I love to write, but knowing someone is reading me and cares enough to take the time to comment feels very connecting. So thank you for everyone who reads MNT, and especially to those who take the time to leave me their thoughts.

I don't get much time to read other blogs, and I feel bad about that, especially when I know someone is taking the time to read what I have to say. So it is especially meaningful to me that other bloggers are reading me.

All ya'all are just making me feel all gooey inside tonight. :)

So, as a thank you, here is a picture of Noah watching the plumber put in the new toilet. He even brought snacks for the viewing (Noah, not the plumber).

Noah told me he wants a furry toilet seat for it. I tried to explain that while he is having blow farts a furry toilet seat might not be a wise idea. He thought about that and suggested it just be fur on the lid. I suggested he learn how to aim down before we consider that type of purchase.

In other news, the appointment with TNP was non eventful. She was on her best behavior and I didn't say any of her trigger words, like "trauma" or "doing more."

Remember when I wrote this post last week about how fast Noah's mind and body were going?

Well, it's taken me some time to be able to come back and tell you about the aftermath. I needed some time to process, and to decide if I should be writing it here or not. That part I'll discuss a little later.*

Noah was in what I believe is a manic state, or perhaps a hypomanic state. Everything was running fast. He was mostly pleasant, but you could tell it wouldn't take much to push him over to the edge of anger. And it happened. He went from enjoying the first night of Hanukkah to raging and screaming, throwing and kicking. Like a switch was turned on. He alternated between the raging and aggression with hysterical crying, during which he was hiding in the bathtub or his bedroom closet. During those time he told us several times he wanted to die, that he was an idiot, that he shouldn't be in this family, that he was a looser and someone please give him a knife so he can kill himself.

It was the most gut wrenching, horrifying thing I have ever heard. My boy, who is not even eight yet, saying he wanted to die.

We were trying to take him off one of his medications. Obviously that wasn't going to work. We are slowly tapering him back up. He is doing better this week, but is still quick to frustration. It's like walking on egg shells around him. It's exhausting and frustrating. I worry for him, for his future.

*I'm considering starting another blog that would be password protected. I no longer feel safe writing here, and I haven't for a year. My writing has changed because of that and I know I have lost readers. But most important for me, because I've changed what I write, I've lost a big part of my place to work through things.

I think I'll keep this blog and just put the more emotional posts in a password protected one. I need to figure out how to go about it so that those that I want to read get the password.

Anyone else gone this direction? Thoughts? Regrets?

Blog improvements?

**updated**

1.  So I've mentioned before that I added CommentLuv to MNT. I really like that it links to a commenter's last blog post, which makes it super easy for me to visit, especially if it is a new reader.  However, it seems to make the actual commenting more difficult and a bit confusing. What do you guys think? Too confusing? Frustrating? Keep it or ditch it?

**I deleted CommentLuv. Thanks for your input everyone. I do think it was just too much work to leave a comment using it. I know when I leave a comment somewhere I don't want to have to futz around, I just want to be able to write it. If any of you know any other application that makes it easier to pop on over to someones blog from their comment let me know!

And FYI I love to reply to comments via email, but if you haven't made that option available in your blogger profile an email address doesn't show up for me.

And B.  I added an option to sign up for email updates when I post a new blog entry. It's over there on the right sidebar, about mid-way down if you are interested! I promise your email address will not be abused!

What I learned at BlogHer'09 when I wasn't stalking famous bloggers

Yesterday I heard about the pledge to blog with integrity. It says everything I've been thinking far better than I ever could. I was going to end this post with the pledge, but I think it is more important than any of my blathering about "what I learned at BlogHer" and I don't want you guys to get so bored reading my verbal ditherings, that I decided to put it first. blather, dither, blather...

So here is the pledge:

BLOG with INTEGRITY

By displaying the Blog with Integrity badge or signing the pledge, I assert that the trust of my readers and the blogging community is important to me.

I treat others respectfully, attacking ideas and not people. I also welcome respectful disagreement with my own ideas.

I believe in intellectual property rights, providing links, citing sources, and crediting inspiration where appropriate.

I disclose my material relationships, policies and business practices. My readers will know the difference between editorial, advertorial, and advertising, should I choose to have it. If I do sponsored or paid posts, they are clearly marked.

When collaborating with marketers and PR professionals, I handle myself professionally and abide by basic journalistic standards.

I always present my honest opinions to the best of my ability.

I own my words. Even if I occasionally have to eat them.

You can sign the pledge yourself and get the badge (see my sidebar) at the website.


Now, if you really want to read my blathering...here you go.

I went to BlogHer with some questions I was hoping to answer and some issues I was hoping to work through. Once again I find myself at a crossroads with the direction I want to take my blog and BlogHer was the perfect vehicle to help me start working through the possibilities.

The sessions I went to were all so good! I chose the sessions I wanted to go to by who was speaking/participating in them, and I was not disappointed by the people or the topics.

One issue that came up was about anonymous blogging and if it was possible. Several people were successful (so far), a few started out anonymously and were found out (with major repercussions) and many were open, but really hoped their neighbors never found them.

Last year I made the decision to rename my blog and stop being anonymous. You may recall I had a few incidents in my real life that forced me to decide if I should shut down my old blog and start a new one (which I did) to try and keep my anonymity (which I tried for a while), or just say fuck it, set up a few boundaries as to what I would blog about, and drop the attempt to hide who I am. After much thought, and discussion with Rich because I felt he should have a say in it too, I decided to stop the attempt to be anonymous and just see what happened.

So far so good. I'm very careful about who I tell in my "real life" about my blog, although the more involved I get in the blogging community the more I want to tell people about what I'm doing. I do NOT want my parents to read my blog, not because I regret anything I have written, but because I know they would not be able to understand it and they would be hurt. Even if we aren't speaking, and I don't see that changing anytime soon, I still don't want to hurt them. If they could actually talk to me about what they read and we could have a discussion about it, it would be one thing, but the likelihood of that actually happening is pretty much equal to the likelihood of one of the cats cleaning his own litter box. I guess one can hope though...

One of the issues I've been considering has to do with how I represent Noah on here, and am I being fair in that representation. I went to a session titled Realllly Personal Blogging - How much info is TMI?. It was incredibly relevant to me as I find myself worrying about Noah's reaction to my blog if he ever reads it. I worry about him finding it sometime (years from now) before I show it to him. I want him to understand why I wrote what I wrote, and read it in context. I want him to read it and feel just how much I love him, even if I'm bitching about how difficult being a parent is. I'm not sure I have it all figured out yet, but some wonderful women offered great advice to me during the session, and if I ever put business cards to faces I'll be able to reconnect with them!

Admit it, when you saw the title of that session you thought I was going to say something about how maybe I shouldn't write about my sex life and vibrators, didn't you! And then you got worried I was going to stop writing about my sex life and vibrators, right? Well no worries, MNT wouldn't be MNT with out a vibe here and there.

And as I said earlier, I went to BlogHer considering where I want to go with my blog. I started it as a way to document Noah's childhood so I didn't forget the funny things he did and said, and as a place for me to just vent. And it moved on from there to also discuss special needs, infertility, pregnancy, donor embryos, etc. And somewhere along the way I got a few readers! I'd like to say that having people actually read my blog is just an added benefit, but it is more than that for me, it was and is damn thrilling! I love knowing that there are people that can relate to what I'm writing and find something I say on here either useful, or reassuring, or just plain funny.

I haven't answered the direction question yet, or even if I need to chose a specific direction or focus, but I did realize over the weekend that there are some aspects of my blog and writing that I want to work on. Like:

• I realized that the blogs I read that I truly enjoy and think are either incredibly funny, or just damn well written, are in fact, damn well written. These women put considerable time into their writing and EDIT their posts. What a thought, actually letting a post sit for a while and then editing it! I think I might try it!
• The best blog posts tend to focus on one topic. Although I know some writers that are very skilled at "rambling" I don't think I'm one of them although I know I do it All The Time.
• I know I want this blog to continue to be my outlet, but I also want to blog with purpose. I want to be more involved in the blogging community and to do this I need to read more and interact more.
• I do not want to be a "reactionary" blogger or Twitterer. If you don't know what I mean, check out the whole#nikonhatesbabies saga on Twitter and re-read the Blogging with Integrity information at the beginning of this post. If I'm going to have an opinion here or on another blog I want to know I've thought it through and I know both sides of the story (if relevant). It frustrates me when I'm reading comments on a post and the people commenting take a side without considering the facts, especially when the post is criticizing or responding to something on another woman's blog.
• I've never flamed another blogger, and I never will. If I can't be nice and respectful, I won't say anything at all.

If you made it to this point you must really like me, because I'm not sure I would have kept reading. I wanted to get it down in print though, so I have something to go back to if I feel myself floundering again, like I have been the last few months.

And a little bit of irony about this post? I started writing it early this week and I thought I had it set to publish Friday, but I must have thought I needed to let it sit a bit longer so I could EDIT it. Hah! I almost forgot to go back to it!

Show and Tell - my new blog look!

For show and tell this week I am very excited to show off my new blog design! Thanks so much to Shawna at See My Designs by Shawna for my new look.

Shawna was great to work with and put up with all my "could we try" and "I'm not sure about the color" bits. And her prices were very affordable. Shawna girl, you don't charge enough!

I highly recommend See My Designs by Shawna!

Bloggy thoughts to ponder

I've reached a point with my blog where I think I need to make some decisions. Over the last couple months I've been gaining readers and it has made me realize how much I enjoy blogging. And that I want to do more with it. I've joined some blog communities like what Mell has created at Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters and of course the Philly Mom Bloggers (PMB) group (you can see all our members on my sidebar).

I've also started some recurring weekly posts on here, including Movie Monday, Tackle it Tuesday, Wordless Wednesday and Show and Tell. I like the structure they offer and the impetuous to post regularly.

So, I'm growing a bit and I feel I need to make some decisions.

1. Re. my anonymity
I moved blogs a few weeks ago because of my coworker and boss reading my old blog. Well, it turns out my coworker found me again. Don't ask, she had to put some work in to finding me, but apparently she was determined.
So, it started me thinking that really, it's impossible for me to keep this blog anonymous unless I password protect it, which I don't want to do. So, I have a couple choices if I want to keep blogging. I either censor myself knowing that people in my real life are reading, or, I learn to not care. And I adopt the attitude that if they choose to read they take the risk that they might not like what I have to say.
I've decided to go the "learn not to care" route but remember that "words are powerful."

My husband knows he is welcome to read any time, but he rarely does. He accepts that this is my place to vent.
My parents know about my blog but have chosen not to read it and as far as I know do not know how to find it. Which is a good thing, because my mother would be horrified I'm sure.
As for my coworker and boss? Well, if she/they want to read I guess they will have to accept that they too might not like everything on here. I do follow some guidelines, always have, which include not posting where I work, the company name, our clients names, etc., or what specifically I do. I'm not going to bash my company, etc. However, if I have a tough day or need to vent about my coworkers, this should be my place to do it. I don't purposely set out to hurt anyone and have no plans on intentionally being mean. What I can't help is that some of them are incredibly sensitive.

Should I be more careful of what I say on here in general, especially if I make it more public to those in my real life, specifically my friends, that I have this blog?

The fact is, that very few people in our life know the origins of Kiel. It has nothing to do with us being embarrassed, but more that it is hard to explain to people and we think that it should be something for Kiel to share if he wants when he is older. Not us. It isn't as "in your face" as Noah's adoption is. But, that leaves me with the issue that no one in Rich's family knows about it.

I don't want to delete that part of my blog because I like that others can find it and learn about our story, and it might help them if they are going through it.

2. also, re. my anonymity
I already post pics of my family. It seems kind of silly that I use pseudonyms to refer to them. I'm thinking that I may just use their names from now on. It would certainly be a whole lot easier that way.

3. Am I ready for a total blog makeover?
As in, am I ready to put out some money for a new blog design? I think I am. I just don't know what I want it to look like. I've never been good at being creative from scratch unfortunately. I'm much better once I have the idea in my head, then I can make it work.

4. Should I allow ad's?
I was recently emailed an offer for a behavior program for kids for free if I would review and link to it from my blog. I could actually make some money if people buy it from my referral. I need to look in to it some more, but it does look like there aren't any real downsides to it. Unless of course I think the whole thing is crap. Then I certainly would not advertise it on here.
That offer got me thinking, plus some conversations I've had with some of the PMB's and I think I may see what happens if I do put ads on in general.

What do you guys think? I'd love to hear from those of you that don't keep your blog anonymous.

My 200th post!!

To celebrate my 200th post I wanted to do something special. I know this isn't all that original, but it's all I could think of. So, here are 200 things about me!

1. I'm not sure I can come up with 200 things about me
2. I like cats
3. I like dogs
4. I do NOT like birds
5. I have two boys
6. I'd love to be pregnant again
7. I've been married almost eight years
8. We live in a townhouse
9. I wish we lived in a real house with our own yard
10. However, I hate to do yard work
11. I used to own my own house
12. I did not have the best yard on the block
13. I did however have awesome wood floors that I refinished myself
14. I like to do creative projects around the house
15. I put down the laminate floor in our refinished basement myself
16. I've done all the creative painting in our house
17. I hate the prep work and clean up of painting
18. but I'm pretty darn good at the actual painting
19. Our bedroom is the only room in the house we haven't painted yet
20. This is because Amazing Daddy and I can't agree on a color
21. I let my seven month old watch the Teletubbies
22. I may be a bad mom
23. I am not a morning person
24. My ideal day would start at 9am
25. And I wouldn't go to bed until 1am
26. And there would be a nap sometime in the afternoon
27. I tend to have the TV on all day, even if I'm not watching it
28. I spend far too much time on my laptop
29. I love my job - most of the time
30. But my boss can drive me crazy at times
31. I think I am good at what I do
32. I get hurt when I find out someone has not been honest with me
33. I loved being pregnant
34. It was the only time in my life I was happy with my body
35. My breasts have always fascinated me
36. I love that I can breastfeed my baby
37. Even if I have to take fenugreek and domperidone to keep my supply up
38. Pumping however, is a bit of a chore
39. I make my own baby food for Kiel
40. Sometimes I make vegetables for him that I don't like - like beets
41. I sometimes think I am funnier than I really am
42. I like to sew
43. and do needlepoint
44. and crochet
45. I love to read
46. Right now I am reading Seven Ancient Wonders by Matt Reilly
47. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be able to come up with 200 things
48. I'm actually pretty damn boring
49. I'm a couch potato
50. I hate exercising
51. I really hate being hot and sweaty
52. I love to take baths
53. I love to read in the baths
54. I can spend an hour or more in the bath if I get the time
55. I rarely get the time
56. I have my own little sewing business
57. It is very little
58. In fact, it has been almost a year since I have accepted any orders.
59. I wish I could draw
60. I love nap time.
61. I'm not very good at keeping up with my kids baby books.
62. In fact I downright suck at it.
63. My husband and I met in a chat room in May 1999.
64. He came to visit me nine years ago this week.
65. Our first date lasted a week.
66. Yes, we had The Sex on our first "date."
67. But we had been talking on the phone every day for over a month by then.
68. I fell in love with him before I ever met him in person.
69. Adopting Noah and giving birth to Kiel were the two most amazing things I have ever done.
70. Better even than the first time I soloed when taking flying lessons.
71. Oh yeah, I took flying lessons when I was 22.
72. I ran out of money to get my pilots license.
73. I was a licensed EMT when I was 18.
74. I rocked the exams, but never had the confidence to really do anything with it.
75. I was going to be a doctor.
76. But I decided I wanted more of a life than that would allow me.
77. So I went to pharmacy school.
78. But that was after I was the Assistant Director of Campus Safety at the college I graduated from.
79. I decided I did not like busting fraternity parties.
80. I would rather be drinking at them.
81. My mother suggested I be a pharmacist.
82. So I said OK.
83. Not much thought went in to that decision.
84. It's worked out OK for me though.
85. I don't like beer
86. but I love hard cider
87. I prefer to read fiction over non-fiction
88. I prefer interesting and exciting fiction over what others consider "good writing"
89. I can be incredibly shy
90. I hate large gatherings
91. I suck at small talk
92. Given a choice, I'd rather be at home
93. unless it has to do with going out to a fancy restaurant
94. I love to drink wine.
95. I also love fru fru fruity type drinks
96. I used to be hugely addicted to Diet Coke
97. I play the piano
98. I used to play the trombone
99. Yes, I was a band geek in high school
100. I was also the valedictorian
101. and graduated with a 4.0
102. and was voted most likely to succeed
103. and most intelligent
104. they were all very mislead
105. I was sophomore class president
106. in college I was a Delta Gamma
107. in pharmacy school I was in a co-ed fraternity, Kappa Psi
108. I did not have a 4.0 in pharmacy school
109. however, I was voted outstanding graduate in my class
110. I did 'shrooms with one of my pharmacy professors
111. it was fascinating
112. but I won't do it again because I liked it far to much
113. my favorite flowers are spring flowers - lilacs, tulips, daffodils, peony's
114. I always wanted to get married in the spring, and carry lilacs
115. instead I was married in the fall
116. I don't remember what flowers I carried
117. My house is a mess
118. I am NOT a good house keeper
119. I wish I could afford to hire someone to clean for me
120. I'm a decent cook
121. and a great baker
122. but I really hate to make dinner
123. unless it is for a dinner party
124. I've made and decorated cakes that others have told me looked professional
125. If i could make a living doing something creative like that I would
126. but I could never make enough money
127. I have expensive tastes
128. We have three cats
129. We used to have four, but one had butt cancer
130. I used to have a Bouvier named Sabena
131. She had a stroke when she was 15 years old
132. She had to wear a diaper towards the end
133. I've backpacked around Europe and the United Kingdom
134. I spent a semester in college in Stirling, Scotland
135. I've climbed to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa
136. I've kissed the Blarney Stone
137. I know how to drive a stick
138. I grew up on a farm
139. I used to have my own pig
140. his name was Wilbur
141. I also had my own pitchfork
142. When I was a kid my job was to collect the eggs from the hen house
143. Chickens can be mean
144. Did I mention I'm scared of birds?
145. I got in big trouble at work because of something I said on Twitter
146. It is the reason I changed my blog name
147. I really wish I could be pregnant again
148. and have another baby
149. maybe when Kiel is three
150. but it will be too late by then
151. and my husband would have a fit
152. My wrists and hands are failing me
153. I had carpel tunnel surgery on my right hand just before the IVF procedure that resulted in Kiel
154. I'm not very good at playing with Noah
155. I lose my patience very quickly
156. I still haven't sent out birth announcements for Kiel
157. but I do think I finally figured out where I am going to order them from
158. I love chocolate
159. but prefer white/vanilla cake over chocolate cake
160. I'm not very good at eating my vegetables
161. I eat too much junk
162. I still have a teddy bear
163. and I sleep with it at night
164. I wish I was a better writer
165. I still have a lot to learn when it comes to grammar
166. but I write for a living
167. I'm not good with confrontation
168. I try very hard to admit and acknowledge when I am wrong
169. or hurt someone
170. I miss my grandmother terribly
171. I'm a picker
172. I was born in England
173. but we moved back to the states when I was two
174. Growing old scares me.
175. turning 40 this year was hard for me
176. My husband is Jewish
177. we are raising our boys Jewish
178. I'm not religious
179. but I love Christmas
180. I really hate dieting
181. I'm not ready yet to move Kiel out of our room in to his own.
182. I miss him when I'm at work during the day.
183. I do see a therapist.
184. She helps me more than wine.
185. But I still drink wine.
186. Sometimes I get sucked in to infomercials.
187. I never return my library books on time.
188. But, I always pay my overdue fines.
189. I'd like to see this blog become something.
190. I've been asked to contribute on another much larger blog.
191. I'm very excited about doing that.
192. I really cherish having my alone time.
193. If I don't get it I get very bitchy.
194. I love to travel,
195. but I love coming home even more.
196. I love buying books and toys for my children.
197. I hate putting laundry away.
198. I also hate unloading the dishwasher.
199. I love my husband and my kids, even when they drive me crazy.
200. I know that I am a very lucky woman.

Wow, I made it! And if you read all of these I'm amazed and pleasantly surprised.

A big thank you to all my readers! It means so much to me that there are people out there that want to read what I write. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Mommy bloggers get together

Too often I let my social anxieties hold me back. Last Friday however, I pushed myself to break out of my comfort zone. I went to a Philly mom bloggers get together where I knew no one!

Yeah me! I'm actually quite proud of myself. I went, I talked, and I don't think I embarrassed myself (too much). And....I had fun!! I think I'd like to do it again!

So 20 Philadelphia area bloggers met in the pope room at Buca di Beppo in Exton for an evening of food, talk and some great swag. Prior to going I wondered if other bloggers were like me; shy and socially awkward, but I have to say a definitive NO to that one. It was honestly so loud at times from everyone talking that I could not hear the women next to me.

And what women they are! Smart, beautiful and funny! I enjoyed getting to know several of them, including Katia from Freeform Katia, Whitney from Mommies with style, Jo-Lynn from Musings of a Housewife , Sarah from Genesis Moments and Kim from Situationally Single Mom. And those were just the women seated close enough for me to talk with.

There was some great swag and a few giveaways as well. A big thanks to Graco, newbaby.com, Smart Mom Solutions, Orville Redenbacher, Mom Central and the Handyguys Podcast for all the great STUFF. And an extra big thank you to Graco for picking up the tab for dinner and for the two car seats they gave away.

I was also lucky enough to win two K'nex kits to take home for The Boy that Colleen at Classy Mommy gave away. We had lots of fun putting them together this weekend while Daddy was working.

Thanks to the wonderful ladies who put the evening together and for letting me attend!

Welcome to My New Digs!

Welcome! I'm so happy to see you found your way.

As you can see, I finally packed everything up and manage to move it over here with out breaking anything! Whew...I really hate moving!

As soon as I can I'll be sending out "change of address" cards, but please, don't wait for them to arrive to update whatever you need to update. I still need to buy stamps, and who knows how long that will take!

I'm hoping to have a completely new look in the next few weeks, provided I get my shit together and send my want list to the woman who is going to help me.

I spent several hours reading through old posts and changing every one's name. If you see anywhere that I missed one, please let me know. I'm trying to do all I can to make sure that this blog isn't "googleable" by any of the old blog information.

Again, welcome! I appreciate everyone that has followed me here, especially since it likely required some work on your part.

Looking for blog advice!

Oh wow, first I need to say how much I am enjoying all the comments! I've had more comments in the last three days than I've had in the almost three years I've been blogging! Loving it!

So, anyway...I've already written that I'm going to be moving my blog to regain my anonymity. The only thing holding me back is I'm not quite sure where I want to set up my new digs. What do you guys think? Should I keep it on blogger or start up somewhere else like wordpress? I welcome any advice!

Big brother is watching?

You may have noticed I've been absent for a couple weeks.

Turns out my boss was told about my blog by one of my coworkers. It's a somewhat involved story that involves some things I said on Twitter referencing the insanity going on in our office at the time. It was taken far more seriously than I ever intended and I regret that it upset my coworker. A lapse of judgment on my part.

However...instead of talking to me about it, she told our boss. And my boss read this blog. And then they confronted me with it. And they were very upset about the three (maybe four?, but I think it was three) twit's I had written. And I feel like I'm back in high school.

What I find most upsetting is that my coworker knew I didn't want anyone else in our office to know about, or read, my blog. I feel betrayed by her, and have lost a significant amount of trust in our relationship.

During that conversation I asked them if they would please respect my privacy and not read my blog. That it was my one place to let out some stress and it was not something I wanted to share with them. Admittedly, I can't "forbid" them to read it as its out in the public domain, but I asked that they try to understand my need for a safe place. And its not like I talk about work on my blog very often. In fact, I've never identified where I work at all. They told me they understood and wouldn't read it anymore.

Well, imagine my surprise (not) when I checked my site stats today and it appears that they have both been here in the last couple days. In fact, my coworker was here just this evening.

So...what do I do now? I really don't want to go password protected because I want to be able to share what I have to say with other parents with similar issues. I like knowing my words are being read, but I prefer they be kept anonymous unless I choose to share them. The only other option I can think of is to move this blog to a new location, with new names and identifiers. Sounds like a giant pain in the ass to me, but if I want to regain my anonymity I suppose its my best choice.

I'm not sure when I'll have a chance to do this, but if you want to continue to follow my journey, please email me and I'll share with you my new location when I figure this all out. If you have ideas for a new blog name email those to me as well.

In the mean time, if they return again, I hope they get an idea of how hurt and betrayed I feel right now. I certainly learned a lesson...that there are people I can't trust the way I thought I could.

New additions to my blog

Now that I'm on the new blogger and I have some free time because I'm at work tonight, I thought I'd update my blog a little. I added a list of links to some of my favorite blog reads. If you read my blog and I missed you, please let me know so I can add you. If you notice problems with the links, let me know that too.

The Dilemma

So here I am, playing around with my blog settings and trying to see if anyone is visiting me. Whoohoo...it looks like a few of you have found me. Including....Amazing Daddy! Hi honey!!

Now it's no secret from him that I have a blog. I even asked if he wanted to read it when I first started it, but he told me no, he'd let me have my privacy. So, imagine when I look at my stats and see that an ISP from his place of work is a frequent visitor. Hmmm...Now, I wonder who that could be? So I call (since I happen to be at work myself) and ask him, wondering if he will lie. Fortunately for him, he's a bad liar, and I think he knows it. He says he looked because I told him not to. I don't actually remember telling him not to, but I do admit that I was writing with the thought he wasn't reading it.

So...The dilemma, do I care that he reads it? Do I edit my thoughts now knowing he is reading it? Or do I just consider it "reader beware" and figure if he doesn't like me talking about his penis he shouldn't look?

Any thoughts on this one ladies and gents?