Things I've learned today and an Elf party

You never save money on the cheap wrapping paper.

If you are going to buy rain boots from one of the bargain shopping sites, make sure you actually know your child's foot size.

Your child with impulse control problems will open all the windows on the Lego advent calendar if you are stupid enough to leave it where they can reach it.

Cats are better at unwrapping than wrapping.

No matter how well you keep track, you will buy two of the same toy at least once every year.

When the Elf decides to have a party in the middle of your family room, he should make sure it isn't on the day you are planning to do your wrapping, if that is where you wrap your presents.*

*Every time Noah left the room this afternoon I moved a piece on the board and changed the die. He couldn't believe more if Nelson stood up and started talking to him.

I LOVE this part of Christmas!

Messing with your kids minds for the win!

Lightening things up with a visit to Santa!

Yesterday, we took the boys to Springfield Mall to see Santa. The mall offered us free pictures plus a very nice gift bag and some gift certificates so I jumped at the chance. I rarely have a chance anymore to take advantage of mom blog events, so I was thrilled we could do this one.

We had "fast pass" access (yes, I did feel guilty when I saw how long the line was), and it was awesome!

Noah pretty much raced up to Santa and plopped himself down right between his legs, leaving no room for Kiel. I got him rearranged and Kiel settled and then smiles and clicks and we had two photos to choose from. While I picked the pic, Santa asked what they wanted for Christmas.
 

Noah wants 50 pounds of bubble gum in his stocking. Pink. With red dye. Santa got a chuckle out of that one.*

Kiel wants Transformers.

After we recieved our pictures (again, thanks Springfield Mall for the full package, plus a $20 gift card to Shutterfly!) Rich and I split up with the kids to help them do their Christmas shopping. I took Kiel first and we quickly took care of his present for Rich. Then we wandered through several stores (including a dollar store and the Disney store where Kiel found lots of things he wanted so he thought they would be perfect for Noah). 

Eventually we ended up at Target, where we ran into Rich and Noah. Noah took me through the toy aisles to show me a few things he liked, then Kiel and I went back and I worked hard at steering Kiel to toys Noah liked, not toys Kiel wanted. I have some work to do with Kiel on what gift giving means. 

We finally finished our mission and Rich took everything to pay while I took the boys back into the mall to wait. It was insanely busy in Target in the toy area and I may have had a mini anxiety attack where I told Rich I had to get the f*&k out of there and got a little bossy about what we were going to do next. OK fine, the bossy part had nothing to do with the anxiety. I'm just bossy.

See behind the boys into the entrance of Target? I tried to take the cart out in my rush to get away from all the peoples. Alarms went off. Then the cart wouldn't move. Something in the floor(?) locked the wheels or did something so I couldn't push the cart forward. I got a little flustered. Noah saved me. 

Well, actually, I grabbed my purse and bag of goodies and pretty much shoved the cart to Noah to take back into the store. I was proud of him. He managed his mother well in her moment of crisis.

Yes, this is how I felt then. And no, the picture above it is not of the boys comforting each other while they waited for Rich to save them. I'm shocked you would even think that.

After that we went to Carrabba's Italian Grill for dinner. I had a blackberry sangria and life was good. Our waiter thought the boys were great (despite, maybe because of?, the shoe and sock that went flying out of the booth and the under-booth wrestling that followed I was too busy looking at the drinks menu to notice). He didn't even blink when I told him I needed something big and fruity to drink - just recommended the sangria.

Our dinner was great and both boys shared their chocolate sundaes with us at the end. 

Then Noah and I went to Macy's to pick out a tie for Rich (shhh...don't tell him, I want it to be a surprise). I had to explain to Noah that it might make his dad a little uncomfortable if he bought him a Christmas tie, considering he was Jewish. So then Noah decided to pick out a tie that looked Jewish. I don't quite know what he considers "Jewish looking," but he found several that he felt met the criteria. He has good taste. (I did have to tell him not to bother looking at the Don.ald Tru.mp table, because we were boycotting The Don.ald. He didn't even roll his eyes at me, he just moved on.)

On our way out to meet Rich and Kiel we went past the makeup counters. One of them had very loud music playing. I commented to Noah that I really must be getting old, because there was no way I could pick out makeup with music playing that loud. 

He laughed and said "Mom, you aren't old, you'll never be old. You can do anything." (And that Noah, is why you are my favorite child!)

It was a great afternoon and we all enjoyed ourselves. I'm very appreciative of Springfield Mall for the invitation and all the goodies. I don't think we would have taken the boys to see Santa this year (because I'm cheap about paying for pictures of Santa and will do anything not to go to a mall during the holidays) if it hadn't been for this offer.

*Santa better come through on this one. Noah still talks about the year he was three and he asked Santa for a Chick race car from the Cars movie. His request to Santa that year was the first we heard him mention Chick, and when we checked into it we realized Chick was the "mean" car in the movie, so we didn't get it for him. We got him a bunch of other cars that year, but not Chick. Who knew he would still remember that six years later. Just another awesome parenting moment. Oy.

 

That post where I explain how my wrapping strategy came back to bite me in the ass.

Noah still has a very strong belief in Santa. And that makes me very happy, because I am not yet ready to give up the little boy magic in the season. I guess there are some benefits to having an emotional age that doesn't match his chronological age. 

The other day I asked him what he wanted for Christmas and he immediately said he wanted an iPod touch. He's been asking for one for the last year. Sadly for him, there is no way in hell he is getting something that expensive. Especially since he shows no respect or ability to take care of the toys he already has.

Rather than say "no" outright I took the easy way out and I told him that if he received an iPod touch he wouldn't get much more than that because it was so expensive.

He looked at me and said "No, Santa doesn't care about money. He just makes it in his machine. I can have as many presents as I want." (And yes, I totally wanted to vomit at that moment, realizing what an awesome job I was clearly doing raising him to be a generous and giving child that doesn't just want,want,want.)

As my stomach settled, I tried to explain to him that there is still a budget, but he had stopped listening by then.

At this point, I should explain that in the MNT family, Santa brings the majority of the gifts. And "Santa" spoils both boys rotten. In the past, my criteria for a Santa gift relied mainly on the wrap-ability of the gift. If it wasn't easy to wrap it came from Santa. Or, if it needed to be put together before Christmas morning (because I refuse to spend all Christmas day trying to put toys together with two boys breathing down my neck) it typically came from Santa - I mean really, how many toys do you put together that actually end up box shaped as the final result?

I now see the strategical misstep on our part following that strategy. The toys get smaller and more expensive as Noah gets older. It's hard to explain the discrepancy of the number of gifts he gets vs Kiel (or the comparative size of the pile - which is still important to him) when his concept of money is still rather fluid. And now that I know he thinks Santa can provide unlimited amounts of toys I know we screwed ourselves right good based on Santa's past Christmas performances.

Tonight Rich took him to Toys "R" Us to pick up something for Kiel that was on sale, and also to get an idea of what Noah was interested in.

During the trip around the store, where Noah was pointing to almost everything and saying he wanted it, Rich brought up the budget issue with Noah. He tried to reinforce that Santa still has an amount of money he spends on each child.

Noah was having nothing to do with that explanation. According to Noah, Santa can make unlimited amounts of anything and money has nothing to do with it.  

Well, Rich in a moment of brilliance said of course Santa needs money, he has expenses. It costs money to make toys.

I wish I could show you Rich's impression of the look on Noah's face - he said it was like Noah just realized the sun came up every morning no matter how cloudy it was. A major revelation!


Noah: (In a troubled voice) I didn't think Santa had to pay for the toys.

Rich: Well, Santa has expenses. He has to pay people to make the toys.

Noah: Oh. Well, who makes the toys for Santa?

Rich: the elves

Noah: (nodding with a wise expression) Ohhhh. Okay. Right.

Issue settled. For tonight anyway.

 

Santa came!

The candy cane seeds grew! All it took was a little magic from Santa.

I like that they grow wrapped; similar to a banana.

It looks quite festive I think.

Brought back memories of a hammer, screwdriver and very frozen ground last year.

My boys are spoiled. No doubt about it.

Just waiting for morning to come!

Christmas Eve Recap

Noah started the day out in high style in his new car/bed/lounge chair. Who needs real furniture toys when you have a big box!

We kept an exciting day of anticipation moving along by decorating our gingerbread house.

I think it turned out quite festive!

And just in case any evil elves sneak in with Santa it is well protected by some heavily armed Lego men.

After the gingerbread house we decorated gingerbread men.

And women, obviously. Well, I thought it was obvious, but Noah said those are lungs.

 On his last night with us Nelson our elf left us magic candy cane seeds.

So after decorating cookies we planted our magic candy cane seeds.

Thank goodness it wasn't as cold as last year.

One of the awesome things about magic seeds is you really don't need to dig a hole, you can just place them on top of the ground.

Just in case you are curious, you "plant" the seeds with the wrapper off, but the candy canes grow wrapped.

Later, cookies and cocoa were left for Santa.

And apple slices for the reindeer.

Then it was time for the annual reading of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" followed by the annual reciting of the Christmas Morning Rules.

1. No screaming, yelling, or hollering to get out of their room until 8am (Yes, we are cruel. Yes, Noah wrote himself a note to remind himself not to wake up until 8am or later. Wish I had taken a picture, because it was cute.)
2. No one goes downstairs until everyone is ready and Mommy has the camera. 
3. Read the tag on the gifts before you rip it open.
4. If anyone ends up in the ER, the person responsible will be giving all of their gifts to the brother that is broken. 
5. And a special rule for Noah - only one Lego box is allowed to be opened and built at a time. Once it is complete and Mommy gets to see it he can do whatever the heck he wants with it. We will not be repeating the 12 hour Lego sorting marathon of last Christmas vacation.

After saying final farewells to Nelson, off to bed they went, and in a true Christmas miracle they both fell asleep almost immediately!

Rich and I did the rest of our work, and then we hunkered down with a glass of wine and a snack (see above). It was a wonderful evening as we fantasized about the morning to come.

This was my Facebook post at 10:45 pm:

For me this is the best part of Christmas. The kids are asleep, Santa has come and gone, the presents are out, breakfast is ready to pop in the oven in the morning.

Now I can set back with a drink and fantasize about tomorrow. Then I will pinch myself and remember that it will be nothing like my fantasy, but it will still be Christmas and I will still be with the three men I love most in the world.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

The days before Christmas

We have a few holiday traditions we've kept going since Noah was a baby.

The hospital Rich works at always has a party for the employees kids and grandchildren. They have a magician perform, music, cookies, and of course Santa and Mrs. Clause with a few elves.

Kiel isn't too sure about Santa.

"I shy," he says.

He got up his courage though and talked quietly with Santa and Mrs. Clause.

Santa remembered him from last year and was very gentle.

  We tried what might be a new tradition and took both boys to visit with Santa at The Melting Pot.

They decided he is the "real" Santa. Noah said it is because his beard doesn't come off.

Kiel was much more comfortable with this Santa. I'm not sure if it was because he was with big brother, or because he was wearing his new boots that he was refusing to take off.

As far as the Melting Pot experience went, Noah and Kiel weren't exactly fans. I love it, and Rich tolerates it. The boys did great though, even if they weren't thrilled by the food. We were there for at least two hours and both of them handled it quite well. Mommy was proud!

After our lunch with Santa we came home and the boys helped me make Christmas decorations for their teachers. We took clear glass balls and let paint drip inside them. It took some trial and error since some of the paint was thicker than others. We ended up putting small jingle bells inside and rolling them around with the paint to help cover the glass. The first few were a bit ehh, but after I realized that using different paint types (gel, acrylic, some thinner than others) the paints swirled together, without blending. I was really pleased with how they turned out.

I'd like to try it again next year, but need to find some better quality glass balls. These were cheap ones from Target and break very easily. I'd like to do this with a ball that is a bit thicker and less likely to break just by touching. If you have any thoughts on where I could find something like that for next year, leave me a note in the comments.

Nelson and his antics

I've seen a few blog posts about the Elf on the Shelf and the over achieving Mom's that are pissing off the rest of the Internets.  It just makes me laugh. I took a few of the ideas I saw on Pinterest, but the rest of the time Nelson was pretty tame.

Except for the morning we woke up to this!

The boys were practically beside themselves over this one.

They were slightly less amused when a couple days later they found that Nelson had eaten the last bit of the Halloween candy.

Oh well...

Our elf Nelson

I'm sure most of you know about "Elf on the Shelf." We have had our elf Nelson for a couple years. Definitely before they hit Target. (I like to think we were ahead of the trend.) So Nelson, our elf, is really a lazy ass elf. He doesn't like to move every night much like me when I get my ass comfy on the couch the way he is supposed to.

And forget those fancy antics his brother and sister elves are up to.

At least until this year.

Nelson and I had a little chat the other night. I called him on his laziness. And boring habits. I mean really, just how many time can he sit on the book case?

Well, I guess Nelson took me seriously, because yesterday morning we found him sliding down the pole in Kiel's fire station.

The boys thought that was awesome!

Then this morning we woke up to this!

and this

I think Nelson has been sneaking onto my laptop and checking out Pinterest!

Family Day

We had a very pleasant day with the boys today! I dare say it was very close to the kind of day a "normal" family has together. And frankly, if it isn't, I don't want to know.

We spent the early afternoon at the park where Rich and I sat on a bench and just watched the boys play on an "old school" merry go round. ("Old school" is Noah's new favorite term for anything he considers not new.) The boys played very nicely together, and when a little girl came to play Noah was very considerate of her.

I took another butt ton load of pictures of the boys.

Speaking of butts...

I commented to Rich how far we have come as parents over the years. There was a time like three weeks ago when he would have freaked out by the daredevil stunts Noah was performing.

They way I see it, at least we had a couple good hours and some photographic proof before we had to go to the ER if one of them did break.

 

Why yes, I do like to dress them alike.

I really like this one with the leaves coming down on him.

 I love my  handsome men.

After the park we went and bought our Christmas tree.

(I haven't figured out how to deal with shadow and light on my camera yet. Should I be able to Photoshop those bright patches?)

We bought the first tree we saw, although I still had to look at every other tree on the lot. Rich choked a bit when he saw the price, but he agreed it was the perfect tree, and with some arm twisting gave in. Of course it grew while it was on top of the van on its way home, because it didn't fit by the time we got it home. We had to take a good six inches off the top. I think it's gorgeous though.

It still needs a little adjusting (obviously) since it's listing a bit to the left. Maybe I shouldn't put vodka in the tree stand.

We haven't finished putting the ornaments on it, and I need to fix the "clumping," which all three of the boys/men are guilty off. Honestly, Rich is as bad as the boys. And I know it's him because it is too high up for Noah or Kiel. Oy, you'd think the man was Jewish or something...

Anyway, that reminds me of a little survey I did on here last year, about decorating. I know I have new readers since last year, so do me a solid and weigh in on it. (I wonder if Blogger has a survey plug in.)

A Christmas Tree Decorating Poll

If you have kids and a Christmas tree, please answer the following poll.

When decorating your Christmas tree you:

A.  leave everything exactly where your kids hang it, even if 2/3 of the ornaments are on the same 1/7 of the tree. You would never do anything to stifle their creative nature, right?

B.  let your kids have their fun then go back and rearrange things when they aren't looking. You don't want to hurt their feelings, but damn, 2/3 of the ornaments on the same 1/7 of the tree is lopsided and makes you a bit twitchy.

C.  carefully direct the placement of each ornament. Thank goodness you have kids that actually listen and follow directions, right?

D.  convince the children that there is a tree decorating fairy and one morning they will wake up and magically the tree will be decorated, then you do it yourself after they are asleep. Because OMFG, 2/3 of the ornaments on the same 1/7 of the tree! Do I need to say anymore?

E. ornaments? Are you crazy? My monsters broke all of ours ages ago.