A red marker, a white napkin, and a brown paper sack

Noah's class went on a field trip Friday. He has been excited about it for months!

On field trip days the kids take a packed lunch. Every other school day Noah buys his lunch.

Rich packs Noah's lunch, but I always slip in a note, usually written on a napkin or paper towel.

Have an awesome day. 

I love you! 

Mom

Red marker on a white napkin. Thirty seconds to write and slide in the brown paper sack between an apple and a bag of chips.

.........................

Noah jumped off the bus steps when he came home and ran into the house. Full of  stories about the day.

Nate threw up when he got off the bus this morning.

They only let us go through the tunnel once this time, but it was still cool.

We didn't get to go to the gift shop, but I bought a snack from the vending machine.

Oh, I didn't want to throw this away (pulling a white napkin with red writing on it out of his pocket), so I kept it in my pocket.

Do you like it when I put notes in your lunch?

Yes. Because I know you are thinking about me and want me to have an awesome day. But I already know you always love me.  

.........................

Maybe, just maybe, I'm doing something right after all.


 

Our ten year wedding anniversary - part deux

We spent the rest of our anniversary day working, taking Noah to the attachment therapist, and then getting the boys to bed.

And then we met on the couch to enjoy some wine and cheese and watch a movie.

Here were some of the options for movies that we entertained and snippets of the commentary we amused ourselves with:

A Perfect Getaway - after the morning we had we could have used one.

Don't Let Me Drown - well then don't piss me off

Disaster Movie- 'nuff said


Ghosts of Girlfriends Past - never a good thing to discuss, especially on your anniversary

I Love You, Man - As long as I'm the one saying it.


Jennifer's Body - who's Jennifer?


Summer Catch - I was, wasn't I?


We ended up settling on The Time Travelers Wife (which dude, I somehow never read the book, so the ending? Not exactly what I was hoping for.)

Rich filled our wine glasses from the bottle of Mommy's Time Out my boss bought me several weeks ago (how's that for awesome?) and then he uncovered the cheese plate before he went to grab the bread he had warming.

And as he walked away this nasty odor hit me and I was all "geeze, did you seriously just fart and walk away? You couldn't have waited? So romantic."

Rich vehemently denied doing any such thing, which I of course didn't believe, because the evidence was in the air! And my nose. And past history people - ten plus years of living with the guy. I know what he is capable of.

He continued to deny it though, and at that point I had to believe him, because really, what man denies producing a nose burner like I was smelling? It was the kind that you brag about to your guy friends at work the next day (at least I assume they do that, right?). So for him to deny it made no sense at all.

Well the smell didn't dissipate. I was a bit perplexed until I realized it was coming from the general area of the coffee table. Where the cheese plate was.

For our anniversary? My husband bought us fart cheese.

OMG, this was the worst smelling cheese I have ever encountered.

And not only did it smell like fart, it tasted like fart.

Don't ask me how I know what a fart tastes like, because until then I had no idea. I do now though, and it is not one bit pleasant. Just trust me on that.

And I was all "Dude, you have got to take this back and tell them something is wrong with it. Just tell them it tastes like farts. Like maybe the cow is sick. Maybe it's serious? The entire herd could be dying or something. It could be a fatal disease. A prion disease. But maybe we could stop it in time, before it is transferred to humans! We could save humanity if you would only take it back and tell them they sold us fart cheese!"


Even after ten years I have the power to make him speechless.

And that my friends is how we spent the evening of our ten-year wedding anniversary.

Was it just ten years ago?

The other morning I was awakened (why yes, I am channeling my inner 19th century English author today) at 5:45am by Kiel climbing over me and yelling “I wet, I wet.” He then proceeded to the area at the foot of the bed where we keep the diapers and do most of his diaper/clothes changes and lay himself down. As I stumbled out of bed I felt every damn self-defense move I did in karate the two days prior and moaned. It was also still dark in the room, and with Kiel in his dark pajamas I came very close to stepping directly on him as I fumbled my way past him to the bathroom. Because he was the one that peed already, not me.

My needs taken care of I changed his diaper and then at his insistence his pajamas too. Of course if he could have done more than just cry and whine at that point all of this would have happened faster because I wouldn’t have had to try and figure out why the hell he was still freaking out.

I then found my way downstairs to get him his “bok” (milk) while he screamed in the bedroom because I didn’t take him with me.

Milk was obtained and we both made it back to bed where Kiel positioned himself as close to me as possible without actually crawling back up inside me. He then spent the next several minutes stroking my left ear lobe and alternately whimpering and drinking from his sippy cup. Thankfully we both drifted back to sleep.

That is until the bedroom door opened at 6:05am to Noah urgently yelling “emergency, emergency, I pooped in the toilet.”

Since I refuse to deal with poop in anyone over six years old and Rich is a smart enough man to know that I’d just dealt with one kid, and it was his turn, he rolled himself out of bed to figure out what about pooping in the toilet constituted an emergency. (Just in case you are interested the emergency part was that it was one of Noah's trademarked "explosive" poops and it was in a few other places than just the toilet. All together now - ewwww!)

By the time Rich returned to bed Kiel had once again crawled over me to get out of bed. This time he was insisting that I turn the TV on so he could watch “Wow, Wow Wubzy,” which of course I do because hearing him say “Wow, Wow Wubzy” is about the most adorable thing ever.

Rich and I then had five minutes to pretend the alarm wasn’t about to go off, before in fact it did go off. I once again stumbled my way to the bathroom where my 42 year-old bladder insisted I pee again. As I sat there taking care of business Rich came in and said the sweetest words.

“Happy 10th Anniversary!”

I had to laugh. And then I promised him that in another ten years we would not be starting our anniversary off like that, because by then our kids would definitely not be sleeping in our bed or still need help wiping their ass. (Oh please don’t let them still be in our bed or need help wiping their ass.)

“Yeah, but they’ll be 13 and 17…It’ll be something.”

And he’s correct, but I know I’ll still be waking up with him, and that we’ll continue to see the humor and love in raising these crazy kids of ours.

I can’t imagine sharing this insane life with anyone else. Happy ten year anniversary my love!

The Stuff that Never Happened - except that now it has!

Is it incredibly un-feminist of me to admit that knowing a man would fight for me is a huge turn on? And I don't necessarily mean the "throw himself in front of a bullet" for me fight. Or even the "get yourself beat up in a dark parking lot" kind of fight. Because quite honestly, I like my men smart too, and both of those things are pretty darn stupid. What I do mean is the "stick up for my wife/girlfriend" way. Hell, even a dad protecting his daughter way (although that is definitely not in the "turns me on" category).*

Yeah, kind of old fashioned, I know. And quite easy to take out of context considering that I do consider myself a strong, capable woman that doesn't need to be taken care of. A strong woman that will also admit that being taken care of at times is awfully nice and does make me a little gooey inside.

So yes, while I can fight my own fights, knowing my husband would step in and protect me gives me those little goose bumps that flutter up and down my spine. (Although I can't imagine being in a situation that would warrant Rich punching someone, it is sexy as hell to consider.) And it warms my heart. Because knowing someone would step outside of their comfort zone for me, to protect me, because they love me that much, is huge. 

On a deeper level, a seriously deeper level, what this means is that I really am worthy of love, at least from one person. I've definitely doubted that at times, as both a girlfriend and as a daughter. But as Rich's wife, I don't doubt it for a second.

It's amazing what a book can get you thinking about, isn't it? This post is inspired by The Stuff That Never Happened by Maddie Dawson and is part of the From Left to Write Book Club. This was one of those books that I just couldn't put down once I started reading it. While Annabelle's life unfolded very differently from mine, there were so many parts of her story that spoke to me. There were several directions I could have gone with this "inspired post" including one about "unanswered prayers," but Neena wrote it so much better in her post What If. Go, read it, just so you too can say "Wow!" when she says "I wouldn't be me. I'd be her."

This post was inspired by the From Left to Write August book club featuring The Stuff that Never Happened by Maddie Dawson.  In full disclosure I received a free copy of the book for this review. 

*After breaking up with my first serious boyfriend after college, I was devastated. Truly and completely devastated. Like deep depression devastated. I remember talking with my dad, and while I don't remember the actual conversation, I do remember asking him if he would go beat the guy up. Now I never actually expected him to, or even really wanted him to, I just needed him to acknowledge that I had been hurt and he wanted to protect me. Unfortunately, his answer was  a very simple "No." It's interesting how what was probably a silly conversation to my father, had such a powerful effect on me and how I saw myself.

Love

I just reread my last post. I forgot to say so much. Most of all that I love The Boy with my whole being. I can't imagine life with out him. No matter how much he frustrates me he's a part of me, the most important part of me.

We really have come so far with him, I know it will keep getting better. All these hormones raging through my just don't help things. I need to keep reminding myself of that.

I love my son. I couldn't love him more even if he was a perfect angel.

We'll get through this.

Magical Mommy Moment

I had one of those magical Mommy moments last night. One of those moments that I had always dreamed about, even years before becoming a mommy.

Last night The Boy woke up crying so I went in to him. I covered him back up and rubbed his back and sang "All the pretty little horses" to him. He calmed right down and just lay there looking at me. Then said "night night mommy" and went back to sleep.

Such a little thing, but oh so powerful.

This is why I am a mommy. This makes the years of fertility treatments, the disappointments and failures, then the stress and anxiety of the adoption, all worth while.

Oh how I love my little boy!