The elephant in the room.

Literally. There is an elephant in the room.

And apparently it is ME.

According to Noah's psychiatrist (TNP) anyway.

OMG I say. I had no idea! I had no idea I am fat and need to lose weight!

Thank god we are paying her the big bucks, right?

Ummmphhh....I'm so frustrated after our appointment with her today. It's only the second time Rich and I have had an appointment with just the two of us. I scheduled it a couple weeks ago because I wanted to talk about how Noah is doing at school, and what else we should be trying to get for him as far as services. I also wanted to get her feelings on Noah now that she has been seeing him for several months.

At our appointment last week I told her what I hoped we could discuss, since our time was limited.

So guess what we discussed today?

OK, I know. I gave it away in the beginning. 

Yes, we discussed that I am fat. Huge. And I need to lose weight.

My weight, exercise, and her "suggestion" that Rich and I take an hour lunch break one day a week to have a "walking date" was what we spent 3/4 of the session on.

She wants Rich and I to meet once a week at lunch for a walking date. Great idea. Really, it would be, if I had the time to take an hour for lunch, and Rich had time to take two hours, considering he'd have to add in travel time to get to me. Hell, I don't even take a lunch. I take on close to a full time load of projects and do it in 24 hours a week. When I am only in the office six hours a day, four days a week, there is no time to take lunch.

TNP wasn't taking excuses.

Finally I let my frustration show. I asked her why we were focusing so much on me and my weight. That obviously I know I have a weight problem. That I have always had a weight problem. That I have issues that I am not going to spend time discussing with her. 

I asked why we were spending so much time on this when we had bigger problems, like the level of aggression and anger in our house, or that Noah can barely read. That I had hoped we would get some ideas of where we are headed now.

TNP told me that I was not directing the session, she was. 

I guess I am the "bigger" problem.

We did discuss a few other less "weighty" issues. Like Noah's need for daily exercise (duh). That swimming would be ideal for him and we should find a non-competitive swim team for him (already discussed at least twice with her). That he may need a "special school" (again, mentioned several times before, but never with any suggestions for what school).

I told her we were looking for her to give us ideas. To help us find a path to travel with Noah. 

She told us that wasn't going to happen. She isn't going to hand me a paper with a road map on it.

She said she considers it progress because he has not been hospitalized or been put in residential treatment.

I call bullshit on that. BULLSHIT! I refuse to accept that as a measure of success. She does not know me at all if she thinks I won't do everything in my power to make sure neither of those things happen to Noah unless we have absolutely no choice. And that would only be because we can't keep him or Kiel safe.

I'm frustrated. 

I don't know where to go from here. TNP came so highly recommended, by a number of professionals that work with or have worked with Noah. She is extremely intelligent. She is highly qualified to do what she does and her practice specializes in complex children.

 

She should be perfect for Noah. 

I just don't think that I should be leaving appointments with her feeling like I need to go to my own therapist to decompress. Seriously, I leave there in tears at least half the time. 

*Just to be clear, what she said is true. I do have a weight problem that I need to deal with. However, I take issue with how she presented it, and that it monopolized the time we had set aside to discuss Noah. You know, her patient.

Hang ups and air horns

Over the last several months we have been receiving phone calls from someone that is clearly a wrong number. I answer, she (sounds like an older, foreign woman) says sorry, and hangs up. The name and phone number show up on caller ID.

This would happen several times a week, sometimes two or three times a night. Most times I would just pick up the phone and then hang up, without saying anything. Sometimes I would let Noah answer, which was always kind of funny.

Last night though, when she called and it was after 9pm I started to get irritated. So when I answered it I asked why they kept calling when they know it is the wrong number. There was silence on the other end and then they hung up.

Ten minutes later another call, this time I asked them if they were playing a game. Again, silence and they hung up.

Five minutes later another call. Silence and a hang up.

Six calls later (at 10:30pm) I finally left the phone off the hook.

WTF people?

So today I called the phone company to see about getting the number blocked. For six dollars a month I can block her number. And that pisses me off. Why should I have to pay because some asshole that I don't know is calling me? The woman at the phone company agreed with me but couldn't do anything about it. Her only suggestion to me was that since I have their number have some guy call and say they are the police and threaten them with something. While an interesting idea, not quite the way I want to go. Oh yes, she also told me how to block my number from showing up if I decided I wanted to call and harass discuss the issue with them anonymously.

Instead, I called our local police and filed a report. I spoke with a very nice officer who said as a courtesy she would call the number and ask them not to call me again, but really, since they hadn't threatened me they couldn't do much more than that. If the calls continue though, she said to file a civil complaint.

Later the officer called and left a message that she had spoken to someone at that number, and it sounded like an old woman. She said that she didn't think the woman really understood what she was telling her or that she even believed that it was the police calling.

Just what I need, a senile old woman calling me over and over again. Wait, that's already happening with my MIL. Great, now I have two senile old women calling me.

So, I'm guessing that the solution the hubs came up with of getting an air horn to blow in the phone probably isn't a very good idea.