Too good not to share

Today while at the lab dropping off Mr. Poopy Pants fecal samples I sat next to a woman.

The woman was wearing white socks and black sandals. Well, she was on one foot anyway. The other foot she had in her lap, sock off, and was picking at her toe nails. Picking at her toe nails! I public!

I was speechless.

She asked me if I'd ever had an ingrown toenail.

I decided this was a conversation I didn't want to get in to, so I just shook my head.

Of course, I was the one sitting there with little vials of poop in my lap.

And this is why I don't clean

Remember all that awesomeness I was the other day, cleaning out my laundry room, and OMG, even pulling out the dryer to clean behind it and replace the venting (or duct, or what ever the hell that damn tubing is called that connects it to the wall). Yeah, that day where I was rocking it all "I am woman" like and damn it "I come with tools."

Oh yeah, well fuck me and all that work I did.

The damn dryer isn't working now. It's lacking some serious heat, which apparently is needed if you want to actually dry clothes with it.

Fuck.Me.

1 big belly + 1 broken front seat = one strange excuse for being late for work

Amazing Daddy put the infant seat in the cars yesterday. To do so he moved the front seat forward. No big deal huh? Until I get in this morning and realize it is too far forward for me and try to move it back....and it won't go. So I try moving it forward...no problem. Except I'm belly up to the steering wheel.

So I squeeze myself out of the car and start playing with the controls. Nothing but forward, up and down. Call to hubby gets the "oh yeah, I had to jiggle it a bit yesterday, try that." So I jiggle...I jiggle and jiggle...and swear (quietly of course, since The Boy is in the car). Nothing.

AD is on his way home to get us. I swear to all that is good, if he gets that fucking thing to work with no problems I'm going to go back to bed and stay there the rest of the day.

Oh yeah, I had to call my boss to let her know I was going to be late. She laughed...a lot. Can't make this shit up!