Sunday, July 06, 2008

Bloggy thoughts to ponder

I've reached a point with my blog where I think I need to make some decisions. Over the last couple months I've been gaining readers and it has made me realize how much I enjoy blogging. And that I want to do more with it. I've joined some blog communities like what Mell has created at Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters and of course the Philly Mom Bloggers (PMB) group (you can see all our members on my sidebar).

I've also started some recurring weekly posts on here, including Movie Monday, Tackle it Tuesday, Wordless Wednesday and Show and Tell. I like the structure they offer and the impetuous to post regularly.

So, I'm growing a bit and I feel I need to make some decisions.

1. Re. my anonymity
I moved blogs a few weeks ago because of my coworker and boss reading my old blog. Well, it turns out my coworker found me again. Don't ask, she had to put some work in to finding me, but apparently she was determined.
So, it started me thinking that really, it's impossible for me to keep this blog anonymous unless I password protect it, which I don't want to do. So, I have a couple choices if I want to keep blogging. I either censor myself knowing that people in my real life are reading, or, I learn to not care. And I adopt the attitude that if they choose to read they take the risk that they might not like what I have to say.
I've decided to go the "learn not to care" route but remember that "words are powerful."

My husband knows he is welcome to read any time, but he rarely does. He accepts that this is my place to vent.
My parents know about my blog but have chosen not to read it and as far as I know do not know how to find it. Which is a good thing, because my mother would be horrified I'm sure.
As for my coworker and boss? Well, if she/they want to read I guess they will have to accept that they too might not like everything on here. I do follow some guidelines, always have, which include not posting where I work, the company name, our clients names, etc., or what specifically I do. I'm not going to bash my company, etc. However, if I have a tough day or need to vent about my coworkers, this should be my place to do it. I don't purposely set out to hurt anyone and have no plans on intentionally being mean. What I can't help is that some of them are incredibly sensitive.

Should I be more careful of what I say on here in general, especially if I make it more public to those in my real life, specifically my friends, that I have this blog?
The fact is, that very few people in our life know the origins of Kiel. It has nothing to do with us being embarrassed, but more that it is hard to explain to people and we think that it should be something for Kiel to share if he wants when he is older. Not us. It isn't as "in your face" as Noah's adoption is. But, that leaves me with the issue that no one in Rich's family knows about it.
I don't want to delete that part of my blog because I like that others can find it and learn about our story, and it might help them if they are going through it.

2. also, re. my anonymity
I already post pics of my family. It seems kind of silly that I use pseudonyms to refer to them. I'm thinking that I may just use their names from now on. It would certainly be a whole lot easier that way.

3. Am I ready for a total blog makeover?
As in, am I ready to put out some money for a new blog design? I think I am. I just don't know what I want it to look like. I've never been good at being creative from scratch unfortunately. I'm much better once I have the idea in my head, then I can make it work.

4. Should I allow ad's?
I was recently emailed an offer for a behavior program for kids for free if I would review and link to it from my blog. I could actually make some money if people buy it from my referral. I need to look in to it some more, but it does look like there aren't any real downsides to it. Unless of course I think the whole thing is crap. Then I certainly would not advertise it on here.
That offer got me thinking, plus some conversations I've had with some of the PMB's and I think I may see what happens if I do put ads on in general.

What do you guys think? I'd love to hear from those of you that don't keep your blog anonymous.


  1. Wow, I get to be the first to comment!
    I love reading comments. Sometimes if I relieved on just my family to say something, there would be no comments.
    I don't tell anything that will hurt anyone's feelings, or I try not to at least, so I don't worry about that.
    I love my job and my boss, so no worries there. I have co-workers and my boss reading my page, so I am really careful not to post anything about that either.
    So, I am not sure if that helped or not, but I am not thinking of going private anytime soon.
    To my knowledge, I don't have anyone out there who is stalking me or my kids or grandkids!

  2. Some people go to WordPress because you can have password protected posts if something is sensitive (I wasn't computer savvy enough to figure it out). In WordPress when you comment you have to list an email adress so it's pretty easy to send a trusted person the password.

    I know I've wondered about the anonymous thing. And I did try password protection for a little while. The reason I stopped the protection was because when your blog is PW protected it doesn't come up on blog readers (like Google Reader) and I had fewer visitors :-(. Plus no new readers.

    I've sort of debated since we're using a sperm donor. Do I really want every joe-schmo knowing? I don't want people to say things like "this is little Cindy, she was created using a sperm donor you know" any more than I would want people to say "this is Cindy she's adopted". I guess I don't want it to be something used to identify and I feel like it should be part not a definition. I've been sort of quiet about it for those reasons, not because anything is going to be kept a secret in our everyday life. Definitely rambling here...

    Oh, yeah, I saw the group information you sent, but I'm not a bonafide mommy-blogger yet :-(, just a wanna-be.

  3. I'm not anonymous, but I'm pretty circumspect. If I'm writing anything that I worry may upset someone in my face-to-face life, I sit on it for a few hours and then reread before posting (or deleting). I go by your rule--words can hurt. But I am so thankful for the stories I read that led me to information I needed so I feel that desire to give back by writing what I'm thinking/experiencing. Does that make sense?

  4. The only thing I can think of is what Trace said about word press. I know quite a few people who are on word press for that very reason. I hope things work out!

  5. I'm pretty much Outed, but I haven't made my last name available, because if I ever get a Real Job again, I'd rather not have them deny me b/c of that.

    So, I dunno. I like being who I am, it's less confusing.

  6. My only rule...never talk about work. Work is work and my private life is my private life. If co-workers want to read about it, then so be it.

    Other than is what it is.
    I do use pseudo names though (besides mine).

  7. I'm a new mommy blogger...just getting started and I struggled with the debate before starting - to be or not to be anonymous. I told myself it's no big deal, I'm one out of millions of blogs. But I decided to err on the side of caution because 'I just don't know'. Maybe I'll change my mind down the road, but for now I remain Anonymous.