Monday, May 12, 2008

Big brother is watching?

You may have noticed I've been absent for a couple weeks.

Turns out my boss was told about my blog by one of my coworkers. It's a somewhat involved story that involves some things I said on Twitter referencing the insanity going on in our office at the time. It was taken far more seriously than I ever intended and I regret that it upset my coworker. A lapse of judgment on my part.

However...instead of talking to me about it, she told our boss. And my boss read this blog. And then they confronted me with it. And they were very upset about the three (maybe four?, but I think it was three) twit's I had written. And I feel like I'm back in high school.

What I find most upsetting is that my coworker knew I didn't want anyone else in our office to know about, or read, my blog. I feel betrayed by her, and have lost a significant amount of trust in our relationship.

During that conversation I asked them if they would please respect my privacy and not read my blog. That it was my one place to let out some stress and it was not something I wanted to share with them. Admittedly, I can't "forbid" them to read it as its out in the public domain, but I asked that they try to understand my need for a safe place. And its not like I talk about work on my blog very often. In fact, I've never identified where I work at all. They told me they understood and wouldn't read it anymore.

Well, imagine my surprise (not) when I checked my site stats today and it appears that they have both been here in the last couple days. In fact, my coworker was here just this evening.

So...what do I do now? I really don't want to go password protected because I want to be able to share what I have to say with other parents with similar issues. I like knowing my words are being read, but I prefer they be kept anonymous unless I choose to share them. The only other option I can think of is to move this blog to a new location, with new names and identifiers. Sounds like a giant pain in the ass to me, but if I want to regain my anonymity I suppose its my best choice.

I'm not sure when I'll have a chance to do this, but if you want to continue to follow my journey, please email me and I'll share with you my new location when I figure this all out. If you have ideas for a new blog name email those to me as well.

In the mean time, if they return again, I hope they get an idea of how hurt and betrayed I feel right now. I certainly learned a lesson...that there are people I can't trust the way I thought I could.


  1. I'd probably start a new blog, import my archives and email anyone who reads with the new url.

    My FIL (who does NOT like me) reads mine, and I've just upped the gross shit that I say to get him to leave me alone.


    Sorry, dude. That sucks.

  2. Ouch - that stinks. Please do let me know when/if you move. My email link is on my blog if you don't still have it.

  3. Very nice. Glad you spoke your mind! Good luck!

  4. I agree with "aunt becky." I haven't been to your blog in months but I always enjoyed your writing. I'm glad you've spoken (or written) down your feelings. Personally, your blog is your personal life and work can't dictate what you do or write about in your personal life. Good luck with your decision. You'll make the right one.

  5. Whatever you decide - please take me with you!
    I used to be toasty! (toastnjam)

  6. Oh that sucks that people can't just be adults and get over themselves. I guess they much be clueless that we can all track our readers...duh! I am visiting through the Philly Bloggers group and just wanted to say hi. Please pass on your new address to our yahoo group if you decide to go that route!

  7. I say fuck 'em. Let them read at their own risk. First Amendment rights and all that. On the other hand, I guess you don't want to get into trouble. Tough call. Of course, I always tend to the fuck it route. That may be why I'm not gainfully employed.

  8. I find you tonight and then find out you're leaving? Sniff. I would like to read along when you have the new space. My email is on my blog. I added this blog to my blogroll but will update it with the new address when you have one.

  9. I just found you too! What a sucky thing for your co-worker to do. I love technology though and the fact that you were able to see that they have been back to view it again. It's like pressing *69 on your phone to see who just called and hung up! Anyways, I am going to put you on my blogroll too. Email is on my blog. Please let me know if you move. Good luck at work!

  10. That is one thing that I worried about (work finding out) - just found your blog so I don't know if you have left yet to set up new digs. I like 'being real' on-line and really don't want to 'backlash' of nearest and dearest coming to haunt me. I stay annoymous for me, but write to help one person not make the same mistakes I did.

  11. I've just found you through NaComLeavMo, and I hate that your safe place has been violated. Everyone needs a forum to vent, whether it's a friend in conversation, or a blog. I'll check back to see if you're still around!

  12. How crappy! I'd probably start a new blog. I had a similar situation when I first was on the message boards at The Nest. No bosses were involved, but I had two coworkers who were stalking me and continually talking behind me back. I've changed my SN and I'm still paranoid that they'll find my blog (even though I don't see how they could).
    As you said, your blog is a place for you to vent and it sucks to have something so personal shared with the people who know you IRL.
    My husband and I are not willing to share our decision to use donor sperm with the world (family yes, world no)...and I am paranoid that my co-worker will find it and start spreading rumors again.

    Thanks for your comment on my blog :-)

  13. Yuck. Sorry to hear it's a crappy situation. I am often tempted to tell one or two coworkers about my blog, but given that it is almost entirely work-related, I resist. I can easily imagine myself going down in flames.

    Start a new blog; just make sure to watch out for suspicious emails from people wanting the new address.

  14. Can you block their IP addresses?

  15. Hola from NCLM! Thanks for stopping by.

    Ouch, that sucks that your co-worker did that!

    I can definitely understand why you are moving...

    I hope they (especially co-worker) realizes how betrayed you feel :(

  16. Words are powerful especially when anyone takes offense at what we say.
    If they really want to follow you they may use other subterfuge to find you.
    Whether you move your blog or not, your relationship at work has been damaged and you'll have to figure out how to keep things professional and cordial because you probably won't be able to regain the trust you once had with your co-worker.
    Best of luck.

  17. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I too have a "high-school-like" office at times. :( So far, my blog is unknown to them ... I think.

    I don't have any good advice except to find a new place and keep writing!

    (dropping by for NaComLeavMo - Hi!)

  18. How did they even find you online? I think my blog is completely anonymous (though I use real pictures and my son's real first name), but maybe I'm naive. Now I'm worried . . . Your coworker sucks! What a thoroughly shitty thing to do.

  19. That is super crappy! Thanks for the comment on my blog. I hope things calm down and at least your co worker should apologize!!