Thursday, April 09, 2009

For you Maddie, we'll hold them closer, tighter, longer...

How do you explain to people that don't blog or use Twitter that you are crying for a baby that you never met in person? How do you explain to your boss, your husband, your own child, that the tears you shed are for a family that you have come to know through words and pictures only?

Like so many of you I was beyond devastated to hear that sweet, little Maddie passed away Tuesday night. I hadn't been on Twitter for a couple days so I didn't know she was in the hospital. I read that first Tweet about grieving for her and Heather and Mike and I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. I literally froze, then hunched over, started to breath faster...and then frantically read my Twitter feeds trying to figure out what had happened, finally ending up at Heathers blog. And the tears started, and turned in to sobs.

I closed my office door. I wasn't ready to explain to anyone. To try and get them to understand that, Yes, I don't really "know" them, as in we have never met in person. But, Yes, I do know them. I've read their story, their journey. I've emailed a few times with Heather. We talked about making baby food, as my son was born eight days after Maddie. I've Twittered with both Heather and Mike. I've smiled every time I saw Maddie's picture...her big eyes, that infectious smile.

I feel my pain, and know it pales in comparison to what Heather, Mike and their families are going through. I can't begin to fathom what that hell is. How it will be with them the rest of their lives.

I hope that in some way the outpouring of love and support the blogging/twittering family is showing them gives them a small amount of peace. I hope that knowing how mothers and fathers all around the country yesterday held their own babies and children closer, tighter, longer provides them some comfort.

Mike and Heather you are in my thoughts. I send you my love. I wish it could be more, so much more.

Please consider donating to the March of Dimes in Maddie's name. You can click on the button in my sidebar!

Or click here and make a donation to Maddie's family via Paypal. It's a small thing to in memory of a little girl with such a big smile!



  1. Very well said. Those outside of the blogosphere just can't understand how we are so attached to a child that isn't our own...

  2. It was such sad wrote a lovely post for a great cause

  3. such sad news... she is just adorable...

  4. That is the gift we give each other - understand a tiny pieces of our heart...

  5. I too only "knew" Maddie through Heathers blog but that doesn't make the hurt any less real. But your right, it is harder to explain the tears. My heart just hurts for Heather and Mike and I will miss Maddie.