Thursday, October 19, 2006

As expected

Well, no surprise here. The pregnancy test was negative.

I had a few spurts of hope earlier in the week when I did a couple HPT's and had some very faint lines. Of course I did an HCG booster last week, so the rational part of me knew that it was a false positive.

I'm frustrated, but resigned I guess. Dr. C wants us to come in for a consult, so we will see him November 3rd.

I want to move on to donor eggs or embryo's, but as usual, it comes down to the money. As of now we have spent over $80K between The Boy's adoption and all the fertility treatments. I don't regret a penny of the adoption, but it's hard to see another 40 grand flushed down the toilet. That's money that should be for our retirement, or to help buy a house, so TB has an actual yard and we don't have to hear the neighbors through the walls, or for TB's college fund. Or a safe car for me, instead of the rust bucket I'm currently driving.

It all comes down to money. The emotional part of this sucks, but I'd do it over and over again if I had to. If we could afford to. Until we have a baby.

How do you give up a dream of being a mother just because you can't afford it?


  1. I'm so sorry- its hard, isn't it?

    Have you explored donor embryo much? Its like 1/3 the cost of donor egg.

  2. I am so, so sorry SK. I was really hoping that those HPTs were not the devil. But they are.

    I completely understand your point on money. Why, oh why, does this have to be about money? Why can't we do what everyone else gets to do for free? It truly sucks. I hate insurance companies.

    I am thinking of you - HUGS.