Kiel's birthday party is tomorrow and I am nervous!
Not about the party itself, or about the kids having fun, or Kiel having fun. I'm nervous about how Noah will behave.
I wanted to get our awesome baby sitter to do something with him during the party, but everyone else thought he should be at his brothers birthday party.
I want him at Kiel's birthday. I do. But I also want Kiel to have a party without his brother melting down or misbehaving. Or making it all about him.
Noah is already talking about how excited he is for the presents he and Kiel are going to get. He is unwilling to accept that this is Kiel's day, and it is supposed to be all about Kiel.
The party is at our karate studio. My favorite instructor will be running the party. Her plan is to have Noah be her helper. I think it is a great plan, if Noah decides he is going to go along with it. I just don't have a high level of confidence that Noah will decide to go along with it.
I hate that Kiel is always overshadowed by his brother's problems. I just want him to have some normal childhood memories.
If I'm honest, I want that for Kiel and for me. I feel guilty that there are so many things we don't do because of Noah. And if I'm honest again, because of my fear of how Noah will behave.
Oh well. Guess I hope for the best, and plan for the worst with bribes for Noah and pharmaceuticals for me.
No matter what I'm going to make sure Kiel has an awesome birthday!