Sunday, August 01, 2010

The Incredible Yankable Chin Hair

I have a new obsession. Or is it a compulsion?

Either one, I'm rather WTF about it.

Because, Hello! My name is Mommy Needs Therapy and I'm obsessed with my chin hairs.

And neck hairs.

So now do I not only pull at my eyebrows when I'm stressed and/or nervous and/or bored, but I obsessively check my neck and chin for rogue hairs.

But not only in the mirror, which I do at least twice a day. OK, four times a day. Minimum. Shut up! But I find myself doing this half stroking, half plucking/pulling motion with my fingers along my chin and neck all fucking day long.

Sitting in a meeting: I'll be stroking and pulling.

Sitting at my computer working: stroking and pulling

Driving: stroking and pulling

Watching TV: and I'm stroking and pulling.

Because I'm certain, that even in the hour since I last checked in the mirror, that a super fast growing hair has sprouted and is about to wrap itself around my neck and choke me.

I've started to stock up on tweezers, so I have them and can easily access one, rather than trying to hold on to the offending hair all the way upstairs to the bathroom where the tweezers reside. When I do this I most often lose the hair during transit and then can't find it when I have the tweezers in hand and a mirror at my face. I'm half convinced they are actually retractable hairs, and that when I pull on it long enough it springs back in, just before I can actually pluck it out.

The crazyest part is that I'm now yanking all day long at the normal body hair on my neck (called vellus hair if you are interested) so half convince myself at times that I'm growing a fucking beard. 

I have made Rich promise me multiple times that he will immediately inform me if he notices any crazy hairs on my face or neck. Of course that means he actually has to be looking at me, so I don't exactly consider him my first line of stray hair defense.

There are a lot of things I'll accept semi-gracefully as I get older, but whiskers are not one of them.


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11 comments:

  1. I obsessively rub my earlobe. I recommend it.... It's a little less um... intrusive.

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  2. I have a rather large mole on my neck that likes to pop out little black hairs. I spend most of my day obsessing about it and pulling at the hairs around the mole! Take solice in the fact you're not the only crazy one!!!

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  3. I got my first chin hair when I was 16 ot 17. I think it was b/c I went on the pill. I have dark hair... so not good. I have to do random chin hair checks now and then, and sometimes I forget and I'll have 2 or 3 and I want to kick myself for not being more vigilent in checking.

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  4. You're not alone. Those of us of a Certain Age do a lot of stroking/checking/tweezing. And, added bonus: Wait til you visit the personal grooming section of Target, as my college roommate recently did, to purchase your own nose hair trimmer. That deserves at least a phone call to your best friend while you are in process.

    Secrets your Older Sister/Cousin/Friends never told you!

    www.commonsense-dancing.co,

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  5. I thought about chiming in on shit that I do that's a little weird... But I read this post twice and all the "stroking and pulling" turned me on. A little.

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  6. Stroking and pulling all day, everywhere you go...are you sure you're not growing a penis?

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  7. Go get threaded. It hurts like hell but all the hair goes away for a good while.

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  8. Those little effers DO sprout up fast, though—like overnight fast—so as far as I'm concerned, you're totally justified on checking for chin hairs!

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  9. I get the random hair once a month and it drives me INSANE!!!!

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  10. I pluck my chin hair all the time. And I can't stop touching my chin no matter where I am. I get extremely anxious if I can't find my tweezers or if they are not working very well. Once I had my boyfriend staying the night and I normally pluck my chin hairs after he goes to sleep but I couldn't find my tweezers. Normally I would just turn on my lights and tear my room apart to find a pair of tweezers but since he was there I left in the middle of the night to go to the drugstore to get new tweezers. Waxing or threading is not going to do the trick for me because if I can feel even one hair I will be obsessed. It doesn't matter if I can see it or not. I will just continuously pick at it. I get infections sometimes in my chin where I will get bumps that swell up and then have puss because sometimes I know there are hairs under the skin so I just keep picking at it.

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  11. What a relief to read this! I am also obsessed - searched for "chin hair obsessed" and this was the first hit. I am very much like the last commenter in that if I can even *feel* (forget whether I can see it) the tiniest bit of a hair I will not rest until it's gone. I just hate the way the wiry hair feels, and I too am secretly stroking my chin all day long. So even if the hair is way too teeny, I still tweeze as soon as I feel that sprout. (Does anyone else love the feeling of landing a good grip on the hair and the thrilling "yank" when you've finally captured it?) But I do sometimes get red & swollen bumps along my lower jawline, which I then have to cover up with makeup. It's driving me nuts! Now that I've shared, I'm going to try to find a way to distract myself. Threading isn't even a remote possibility, because don't the hairs have to be at least a fraction of an inch long for threading to work? (I pluck at millimeters.) I need to find something to take my fingers off my face. I see this is an old post with old replies, so don't know if anyone is reading -- but if you have any ideas, I'd be grateful.

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