PDD-NOS

So we finally have an official diagnoses. Pervasive developmental disorder - not otherwise specified.

Am I surprised? - no

Am I relieved? - a little

Am I sad? - you betcha

He is on the spectrum but based on the outcome of the ADOS and clinical observation. He didn't test clearly in one area though, thus the PDD-NOS diagnoses. The women who performed the test and our doctor who reviewed the session all said he was atypical in his scores. There was a lot to take in during our appointment today so it will be good to get the written report and read it over with no distractions.

The developmental pediatrician kept talking about how we need to focus on his behavior as the result of a deficit in his knowledge/understanding and not because he is choosing to be "bad." She gave us recommendations on some books and websites to look at to get more information on helping him with his social skills.

I think I've known intellectually that his behavior is the result of a "deficit" for a while, but remembering it in the moment is much harder.

I'm not sure yet if this is going to change anything that we are already doing, at least as far as the services he is getting. He's doing very well in his emotional support class so clearly what the teacher is doing with him is working.

At home Rich and I are going to have to keep remembering that much of his behavior isn't purposeful and that he has to be taught the correct way to read a situation/person and how to respond appropriately. It definitely means I need to keep working on ways to improve my patience and parenting skills.

I definitely have some mixed feelings right now...
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To tell or not to tell

Rich and I sometimes disagree on how much we should tell people about Noah and his "challenges." I tend to be more forthcoming than he is.

Noah started a new season of soccer the middle of August. Rich has been taking him to practices which are Wednesday evenings. I usually meet them at the field to get Kiel so I can take him home and get him ready for bed, while Rich stays at the field with Noah.

Last week I stayed for a while so I could see Noah practice.

Noah is a pretty good player. He's not afraid of the ball and sticks with it. Truth be told he's probably one of the better players.

He's also aggressive, too aggressive. Especially for this age. And he's impulsive.

Last week he started wrestling with another kid. At first it looked like they were playing, then it got more intense. And then they were fighting. None of the coaches were paying attention. Finally Rich and the other dad went and got them. Apparently Noah got in some good hits to the other kids face.

Today at practice Noah went running away with the ball twice.
The first time Rich went after him. Then Rich decided he'd had enough and he took Kiel home, and I stayed. The second time Noah ran with the ball the coach ended up going after him. Noah took him on quite a chase. It was actually pretty funny. I couldn't help but laugh, in part out of embarrassment in part because it was truly pretty funny. The family sitting next to me thought it was hilarious. They kept saying "look at him go" and laughing. I'm actually laughing right now as I think about it. It really was hysterical.

And then twice he got himself in trouble pushing other kids. Once both boys were put on the sidelines to sit it out. Once I took Noah and put him in a timeout next to me.

After the practice I spoke with the coach, Coach Yvonne. I asked her if Rich had said anything to her about Noah and she said no. So I told her that Noah was on the autistic spectrum and that he struggled with impulse control, and that he had ADHD.

She was so relieved that I told her this. She told me that last week some of the parents had complained to her about Noah's aggressiveness. So we talked a bit about how she thought we could handle it and when she wanted us to step in.

She said several times how much she appreciated me telling her this.

I don't really get Rich's aversion to telling people about Noah. It's not like I want to tell everyone we meet, I just think that there are people that interact with Noah that deserve to know. For their sake and for Noah's.

How do I make Rich more comfortable with this?

If I say it enough will I accept it?

My son is autistic.

My son is autistic.

My son is autistic.

My son is autistic.

My son is autistic.