day 11 2ww

It shouldn't be surprising to anyone that knows me that I felt compelled to go out and get another HPT because I started to second guess the test from last night.

So I bought a store brand test for six bucks and tried it again tonight. No doubts that it is positive. I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the thought that I am really pregnant. As much as I have wanted this I don't think I ever truly believed it would happen. I never thought I would be able to say the phrase "I'm pregnant." Every time I think it I feel like such a fraud.

But, as for now, I do believe that I'm pregnant. I guess when I get the beta on Friday I'll feel slightly more comfortable with it all. I keep telling myself that we have weeks to go before we should start to feel confident. Never having been pregnant before I have no idea how my body might handle it. I think Amazing Daddy will feel much better when we have an US and find out it is not multiples.

Health wise I feel great. My only complaint is my ass is starting to hurt from the PIO injections and my boobs are killing me. Every time I cuddle up with The Boy I wish I had a a suit of armor around me to help dodge his sharp little elbows. Oh yeah, one other thing, I suddenly can't stand the taste of diet coke. yesterday morning I tried cans from five different cases thinking I had a bad batch. Finally I asked one of my co-workers to try one and she said it tasted fine. Guess that's one way to stop a nasty habit.

It's all I can do to keep from telling every one I know we're pregnant, but AD has asked me to have some control. I know he's right, so I'm trying. I did tell my mom though. She was of course happy but then made several comments about how worried she was for me that with TB this is all going to be too hard and I have no idea what I'm getting myself in to. She also can't understand why AD would want to have a baby when he's about to turn 50. I got several warning not to tell anyone for a couple months. And also not to tell anyone that we used donor embryos. Thanks Mom, glad I could count on you for some excitement and support.

Of course this is the same Mom who had to have a long serious talk with me after our visit home at Christmas to make sure I understood that she would never really be able to come out and help us, especially if I was on bed rest, because she could never leave my father home with out her and he'd never be able to stay here for more than a couple days because he's such a damn busy retired man in real life. Or something like that. She just loves him too much to be away from him and she'd worry all the time that something would happen to him while they were apart. Sweet huh? Yeah, I know it is and I'm really happy they have each other and love each other so much. I'm coming to accept she's not the typical mom/grandmother. Of course what she seems to have forgotten is that no matter how desperate I was I don't think i could handle having her around for an extended period of time.

day 10 of 2ww - UPDATE

Holy shit!!!

Day 10 of 2ww

Oh my god I am going crazy. All I want to do is POAS (that's Pee on a Stick). I did succumb yesterday (at day 9). A faint line appeared, but well after the first ten minutes. Everything I read (and I spent hours on Google yesterday and today trying to find something to refute it) says it is an evaporation line. When I looked at it this evening it was completely gone.

I'm like a junky, all nervous stomach, just thinking about it. I was going to wait until tomorrow but I'm with TB all day, and we have appointments and errands in the AM, so if I do it in the morning I'll just be upset.

I really think I have to pee NOW!

I guess I could do it now and buy some more tomorrow if I need to.

I was really going to handle this so much better than the last two. Yeah, right.

I think because I'm more hopeful because of the quality of the embryos the anticipation is greater.

I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it if its a BFN.

shitfuckdamn

day 4 of 2ww

I felt slightly light headed most of the day yesterday. I felt like that around this time during our first cycle. Today I had definite cramping in my lower abdomen. Implantation cramping? I sure hope so. I was pretty excited feeling it. No spotting unfortunately. That would make me a little more confident that this wasn't the result of wishful thinking.

Still feeling optimistic here and hoping it doesn't come back and bite me in the ass.

I realized yesterday that my parents will be visiting us the weekend that we find out. I had been trying to get them to come that Thursday night so I could spend my day off with them on Friday, but now I'm glad they aren't since the pregnancy test is that day. Not that I won't pee on a stick before then. Shit, I asked Amazing Daddy if I could do an HPT today.

Day 1 of 2ww

Transfer went very well yesterday. We had to meet our acupuncturist there at 6:45am with transfer scheduled at 7:30am.Amazing Daddy dropped me off at 6:30am and took The Boy to preschool then came back

Being the third time I knew what to expect and had the routine down. Acupuncture was relaxing and I dozed during it. Dr. C arrived right at 7:30 and told me we had three excellent embryos. They had thawed five and three survived and divided beautifully. Basically I was told they were as good as they get. They looked textbook to me, beautiful symmetry with no fragmentation.

I knew enough to release a little pee before I went in (such control I have being able to go to the bathroom without letting it all out). the transfer went very smoothly, with very little discomfort at all. The only disappointment was that AD didn't get there until about three minutes after the actual transfer. He did get to hold me hand while I relaxed on the table before I was able to get up.

We were home and I was in bed by 9:10am. I've been there since. I feel good about things in so far as I know the embryos looked great and I know the donors were successful with them. The unknown now is if my body will let them (1 or 2 preferably) implant and grow.

Blood levels Friday and then pregnancy test the next Friday. I imagine I'll do an HPT before that. Nothing now to give me a false positive.

Fingers crossed!