A long and rambling post about needles, boobs, titanium and puppies.

A cool little factoid about my husband is that he works at a cancer center and has been there forever 20+ years, so he knows just about everyone else that works there. It's really handy when you need your annual mammogram because not only do they offer it to spouses for free, but he just has to call over to one of the many women that work there that think he's the greatest to schedule it for me. Even better is that after they take cool pictures of my breasts, he takes me to lunch at my favorite Thai restaurant!

It's also awesome that he is able to get the results of that mammogram before they even send the results to my own doctor.

That also means that before he has to come home and tell me that there is something there that wasn't there the last time, he has already talked to one of his doctor buddies and has a promise to schedule me in asap for more scans and a biopsy if needed.

But, that also means that he is the one that has to come home and tell me that there is something there that wasn't there the last time. And that he's had several more hours to worry about it before he tells me.

So when he tells me "they found something," and I say "that's not funny, don't mess with me, Noah's been an ass this afternoon and I'm not in the mood," and he gives me the no, I'm serious look and then says "but it's small and there is a very good chance it is nothing at all" and I cry, he can make me cry harder because he says, "even if it is something we are a team and we will deal with it together."

(And then we, and by we I mean me, make really bad jokes about it for the next two days until I go in for the next level of mammogram, ultrasound and possible biopsy.)

See, it really is small! (The spot, not my boob!)

By the next night I had him promising to get me pot if I needed chemo, even though he insists that if it is something it's so small I probably wouldn't need chemo.

And then he ignored me listened to me opine about losing my hair because my scalp is in all likelihood horribly disfigured and scarred under my gorgeous and perfectly groomed locks (and no, I couldn't type that with a straight face) because I'm a picker and I wouldn't look good bald even if it wasn't disfigured, because my face is too round and fat to not have hair.  To which he responded "can we just get through Friday before you jump five steps ahead."

No. I can't. Because I'm a planner and a picker obviously and I need to think through all the possibilities so I can get the most impact out of my horribly morbid and inappropriate jokes for the next week be a well informed patient.

Anyway...I had the mammogram Tuesday, and Friday I had a focused mammogram, where they still saw the "irregular density." So then I had an ultrasound, where they couldn't find it (the "irregular density," not my boob. Those are hard to miss). I'm actually not sure if that was good or bad, but I think it maybe confirmed it wasn't a cyst.

So then the doctor said "well, let's do a needle biopsy," and I said, "yes, lets, it's already scheduled" and she looked at me and said "no, I don't think so" and I said "yes, my husband said it was" and she said "well..." and then "we'll fit you in. Go wait in the waiting room."

I sent Rich back to his office in another part of the building (down the hall, turn left, then right at the lobby - in case he forgets some day) and we had this conversation via text.

And then I told the technician and the doctor both that Rich had promised me a puppy. Because clearly that text implied that he was DEFINITELY getting me a puppy. Right?

Anyway...within five minutes they had me in a room setting up for the biopsy. They left me in the room by myself for a couple minutes so I started taking pictures. They totally caught me at it and laughed when I said I had to blog about the cool boob table.

(Remember when I was fascinated by this chair when I saw the doc before my frankenvulva surgery? Obviously I am oddly fascinated by BD/SM inspired medical equipment.)

Before I got on the table I asked the doctor if I could talk to her during the procedure and she said no, which really cut down on my ability to make stupid jokes. Way to kill my anti-stress buzz doc. :(

So... about the table - you lay face down on the table and your boob goes in the round hole and hangs down into that plastic-ish sling looking thing. I assume that is why they call it the "boob hole table."* Then they take more scans, do something on the computer, stereo something-or-other to line the needle up, shoot you up with lidocaine to numb your tit a bit, and wam bam thank you mam you have this huge ass needle in your breast (totally did not see the needle but am assuming "huge ass" is an accurate description considering they were not only taking things out of me but also putting a titanium marker in me and they had to go in almost 3 inches to get to it). 

After the needle was in the right place the doctor told me there was going to be a loud popping sound of air, like uncorking a bottle of champagne. And there was and because I couldn't TALK I could only think loudly in my head that "OMFG, she just totally popped my boob."

After that the needle did some rotating kind of thing and took part of the "irregular density" out to send to the lab. Then they shoved in a piece of titanium to act as a marker to make sure they were in the correct place. Then wam bam thank you mam the needle came out and they cleaned me up and put a totally not fancy bandage on it. Then I had another mammogram to make sure they yanked the tissue from the right place. I can't believe I forgot to take a picture of the scan of my titanium marked boob for all y'alls!

And that was it. I find out the results on Tuesday. I assume Rich will stalk the computer until they are available and then call me. Then I'll call the doctor and tell her what the results are.

In all seriousness though (for everyone that reads this blog post after searching for "what a breast biopsy is like," which I predict will be second only to "boob hole" in the ways people find this) the biopsy bit was not bad at all. The pain was minimal and I was probably only on the table about ten minutes, less than five of that involved the actual needle bit. Way less painful than a root canal! Actually, less painful than most of the dental work I've had period.

I'm still waiting for that puppy btw.


*I have no idea if that is what they call it.

 

Lightening things up with a visit to Santa!

Yesterday, we took the boys to Springfield Mall to see Santa. The mall offered us free pictures plus a very nice gift bag and some gift certificates so I jumped at the chance. I rarely have a chance anymore to take advantage of mom blog events, so I was thrilled we could do this one.

We had "fast pass" access (yes, I did feel guilty when I saw how long the line was), and it was awesome!

Noah pretty much raced up to Santa and plopped himself down right between his legs, leaving no room for Kiel. I got him rearranged and Kiel settled and then smiles and clicks and we had two photos to choose from. While I picked the pic, Santa asked what they wanted for Christmas.
 

Noah wants 50 pounds of bubble gum in his stocking. Pink. With red dye. Santa got a chuckle out of that one.*

Kiel wants Transformers.

After we recieved our pictures (again, thanks Springfield Mall for the full package, plus a $20 gift card to Shutterfly!) Rich and I split up with the kids to help them do their Christmas shopping. I took Kiel first and we quickly took care of his present for Rich. Then we wandered through several stores (including a dollar store and the Disney store where Kiel found lots of things he wanted so he thought they would be perfect for Noah). 

Eventually we ended up at Target, where we ran into Rich and Noah. Noah took me through the toy aisles to show me a few things he liked, then Kiel and I went back and I worked hard at steering Kiel to toys Noah liked, not toys Kiel wanted. I have some work to do with Kiel on what gift giving means. 

We finally finished our mission and Rich took everything to pay while I took the boys back into the mall to wait. It was insanely busy in Target in the toy area and I may have had a mini anxiety attack where I told Rich I had to get the f*&k out of there and got a little bossy about what we were going to do next. OK fine, the bossy part had nothing to do with the anxiety. I'm just bossy.

See behind the boys into the entrance of Target? I tried to take the cart out in my rush to get away from all the peoples. Alarms went off. Then the cart wouldn't move. Something in the floor(?) locked the wheels or did something so I couldn't push the cart forward. I got a little flustered. Noah saved me. 

Well, actually, I grabbed my purse and bag of goodies and pretty much shoved the cart to Noah to take back into the store. I was proud of him. He managed his mother well in her moment of crisis.

Yes, this is how I felt then. And no, the picture above it is not of the boys comforting each other while they waited for Rich to save them. I'm shocked you would even think that.

After that we went to Carrabba's Italian Grill for dinner. I had a blackberry sangria and life was good. Our waiter thought the boys were great (despite, maybe because of?, the shoe and sock that went flying out of the booth and the under-booth wrestling that followed I was too busy looking at the drinks menu to notice). He didn't even blink when I told him I needed something big and fruity to drink - just recommended the sangria.

Our dinner was great and both boys shared their chocolate sundaes with us at the end. 

Then Noah and I went to Macy's to pick out a tie for Rich (shhh...don't tell him, I want it to be a surprise). I had to explain to Noah that it might make his dad a little uncomfortable if he bought him a Christmas tie, considering he was Jewish. So then Noah decided to pick out a tie that looked Jewish. I don't quite know what he considers "Jewish looking," but he found several that he felt met the criteria. He has good taste. (I did have to tell him not to bother looking at the Don.ald Tru.mp table, because we were boycotting The Don.ald. He didn't even roll his eyes at me, he just moved on.)

On our way out to meet Rich and Kiel we went past the makeup counters. One of them had very loud music playing. I commented to Noah that I really must be getting old, because there was no way I could pick out makeup with music playing that loud. 

He laughed and said "Mom, you aren't old, you'll never be old. You can do anything." (And that Noah, is why you are my favorite child!)

It was a great afternoon and we all enjoyed ourselves. I'm very appreciative of Springfield Mall for the invitation and all the goodies. I don't think we would have taken the boys to see Santa this year (because I'm cheap about paying for pictures of Santa and will do anything not to go to a mall during the holidays) if it hadn't been for this offer.

*Santa better come through on this one. Noah still talks about the year he was three and he asked Santa for a Chick race car from the Cars movie. His request to Santa that year was the first we heard him mention Chick, and when we checked into it we realized Chick was the "mean" car in the movie, so we didn't get it for him. We got him a bunch of other cars that year, but not Chick. Who knew he would still remember that six years later. Just another awesome parenting moment. Oy.

 

Beware the zombie spectators

I take a lot of pictures during Noah's soccer games. Since I use a telephoto lens and shoot pretty fast I'm never sure until I get home and go through them on the computer if I got any good shots. I guess it's a good thing I don't always know what I'm shooting, because if I'd seen the zombie poking out of the ground to watch the game I might have grabbed my boys and ran.

Playoffs start tomorrow. I'm going to pay more attention where I put my chair to watch the game from now on.

Halloween 2012

Noah told me that it would be the worst day ever in his life and he would probably die if Halloween was cancelled. Considering what was going on on the rest of the east coast I didn't have a whole lot of sympathy for him when he said. I may have over-lectured him a bit on why it wouldn't be the end of the world if Halloween didn't happen. He wasn't buying it. In fact, I think he completely tuned me out after about ten seconds.

As it turned out our township did postpone trick or treating until Saturday afternoon. I wasn't home when I saw the notice, so I texted our neighbor to see if she had heard. She always seems to know what is going on since she actually talks to the rest of the neighbors, unlike me. 

Apparently our development has a Facebook page and the moms decided to give the township the middle finger and put an end to our kids insanity and let the trick or treating commence as it should.

The smart kids that knew it had been postponed immediately figured out that meant they could go trick or treating twice this year! Curses on the neighbor child that enlightened Noah with that news. No candy at our house for you x 2!*

However, our neighborhood children (and dare I say many "undocumented" neighbor children if the empty vans on the side of the streets meant anything) in all that was sugar and frightening, successfully accomplished their extortion of candy.

I seriously thought the excitement built up inside my two children was going to create a spontaneous combustion before we even started. Fortunately they both survived the forced eating of dinner and the wait until the neighbors started to come outside.
 

 

Blue Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle sans shell and a Navy Vampire Seal.

Both boys did great this year with the actual trick or treating. Kiel is a doorbell ringing, trick or treat yelling pro (remind me to tell you about the ding dong dash incident I caught him at a few days ago). Noah was a great big brother and had a super attitude. None of the problems we had the last couple years with the general surly and demanding attitude. Rich and I were able to just hang back and let them do their thing.

Ready to get started

We had a spider theme going on this year. Maybe next year I'll actually get all the stuff I spent the last couple weeks making outside.Noah spent many hours getting the spider webs just right.

Mom, can I eat this? Please?

  I think Kiel's joy was as much in the actual gathering of the candy as it was in the eating of it. He was told he could have three pieces and he was quite fine with that. He hasn't asked for more since then. (I figure that's a good thing considering I have his bag sitting next to me as I write this. I'm pretty sure he didn't actually count how many Snickers were in his bag.)

We carved the pumpkins on Saturday. Kiel is not a fan of pumpkin guts.

Noah thought I was brilliant turning his pink pumpkin into a rat hotel and Kiel's green pumpkin into a multi-mouthed vampire pumpkin.

This was my statement pumpkin. It didn't quite turn out the way I wanted. By Wednesday night part of the left side had collapsed inward, totally removing any possible ability to identify it.

A successful and enjoyable evening was had by all.  :)

*We will not be trick or treating twice. Sadly our front porch will not hold any buckets of candy on Saturday. Mommy is mean. And cheap.

Making our own dishwasher soap (updated)

I was pretty sure that the laundry detergent we made was going to be OK based on all my friends who use similar versions. I was less confident however, that homemade dishwasher soap would work.

I figured it was worth a try though, because we run at least a load of dishes a day and the gel-packs I like to use aren't exactly cheap.

I looked at a few different recipes and decided on this one at Homestead Revival, mainly because it was simple and I had all the ingredients. I used the washing soda and Borax I had left from making the laundry detergent. I bought the citric acid from Amazon for around $12. I used 2 ounces so have enough to make 7 more batches. I figured if this didn't work I could still use the citric acid to clean the dishwasher and still save money over the commercial dishwasher cleaners.

Here are the ingredients.

I strongly recommend you read Amy's post on Homestead Revival as she gives good information about the ingredients and if you should or should not use salt in the recipe. She also recommends using vinegar as a rinse agent, which we haven't tried yet since we keep forgetting to buy it.

Dishwasher soap recipe:

1/2 cup borax

1/2 cup washing soda

1/4 cup food grade citric acid

 

I pored it all into into this Ziploc container and shook it up. Super easy.

Like I said, I wasn't all that confident that it would work. Rich was even less confident. We have used it every day this past week though and it is working great. I use a little less than a tablespoonful each time. I should get about 36 loads from this at about 5 cents a load.

UPDATE: It just never quite worked as I had hoped. We have had a few really good loads come out, but mostly I have ended up washing things twice. We are going back to commercial products until we can figure out what we need more/less of. 

Making our own laundry detergent.

I've been intrigued the last few months by the number of people I see online making their own cleaning supplies, especially laundry detergent. I kicked the idea around for a few months, not sure it was worth the hassle. Then I realized several people I know were doing it and were happy with the results, so I figured I'd give it a try. Plus it sounded like a good project to do with Noah.

I looked at several different recipes and finally decided on Being Creative to Keep my Sanity's recipe, with a couple of adjustments.

• 1 - 4 lb 12 oz box Borax (2.15 kg or 76 oz) found in the detergent isle
  
• 1 - 4 lb box Arm & Hammer Baking Soda (1.81 kg) found in the cooking isle
• 1  box Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda 55 oz (3 lb 7 oz) found in the detergent isle
• 3 bars of Fels-Naptha soap, found in the detergent isle (if you use Zote bars use 2 bars instead, Zote can be found at Home Depot)
• 2 small containers of Oxy Clean or store brand Oxy Clean (try to get about 3.5 lbs total (1.58 kg)) found in the detergent isle. (This is optional, I added it into mine because I have pretty messy kids and the cleaner the better.)

 Because I wasn't completely convinced this was going to work I decided to make a half batch of the recipe. I used Zote laundry soap instead of FelsNaptha. I also didn't include the OxyClean since I forgot to buy it. I figure I can add it later if I need it. 

Here are my supplies, including my morning cup of chai.

Noah grated the bar of Zote. It has a wonderful lemon smell to it.

We dumped everything into a large trash bag set inside a five gallon tote.

Since we did a half recipe I made Noah do the math and measuring.

and the stirring.

Noah showing off the final result.

Labeled and ready to go!

This is our final recipe:

• 1/2 box of Borax (38 oz)
  
• 2lb of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda
• 1/2  box Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda 27.5 oz
• 1 bar Zote laundry soap (shredded)better)

Next time I will shred the Zote so it is finer. I think it will distribute better if the pieces are smaller. 

I have been using this in our HFE front load washer. I put it right in with the clothes. I am using about a tablespoonful per load, with slight adjustments depending on the size of the load. The clothes come out of the washer with a nice fresh clean scent.

So far it seems to be working great. This is the first weekend I'm doing all of the laundry with it, so I'll know more later when I fold everything. 

If you make your own laundry detergent leave a comment and tell me what you use to make it.

Tomorrow I'll post our dishwasher soap recipe.

He needs Peoples in his bed, people!

We finally finished cleaning out Kiel’s bedroom (thanks Bella!) and he is just thrilled! I’m trying not to feel too guilty that it took so long, considering his excitement level. Even Noah was impressed and I’ve had to explain more than a few times why the room can’t be his and why it IS fair that Kiel gets it. (This is what Noah’s bedroom looked like when he was three. Someday I should do a blog post about what it looks like five plus years and a few dozen rages later. It isn’t pretty.)

Kiel was very excited to go to bed in his own bedroom the first night.  We never really expected him to sleep in it all night, but were shocked when he made it until about 4am before he crawled in bed with us.

Since then he has rarely made it past midnight, but he still starts out in his own room, which I think is huge progress!

Although happy to read stories and snuggle in his bed, he doesn’t actually want to sleep in it by himself. I have rarely been successful leaving the room before he is asleep. If he does fall asleep he does it with at least one hand holding on to my arm, which makes it very hard to get out of bed without him waking up. We tend to do better on the weekends when he is more tired because he doesn’t get a nap.

Most nights though, even if he does fall asleep, he ends up begging one of us to get in bed with him. He needs Peoples in his bed, he tells us.

Despite watching that English nanny do it on that TV show, I don’t have it in me by that time of night to keep taking him back to his room. I’m tired and I need some time to do my own work, and the only time I have is after the boys are in bed.

So, we have come to a compromise.

If Kiel will not sleep in his bed alone before Rich and I are ready for bed, he also can not come down to the family room. Therefore, the stalemate position is the staircase. He can’t get off the stairs, but we aren’t going to force him to his bedroom and make all of us miserable.

So this is how he ends up more nights than not.

 

Comfy huh?

Dudes! We went to a Dude Ranch! Rocking Horse Ranch to be exact.

A couple months ago I was chatting on Facebook with my friend Laurie from Adopting Special Needs and she mentioned they were going to spend a couple days at Rocking Horse Ranch in Highland, NY. 

I said that sounded like fun and that I was sure they would have a great time. Well, she said we will, and it would be even better if you came too. I was all, "oh yeah, but we can't afford a trip right now, and I hate traveling with the boys, and Noah would miss school, and oh, I don't know. What if Noah rages and I lose my sanity completely."

Well, Laurie gave me a cyber shake and said something along the line of "yeah, and? You won't be alone, I'll be here."

So I talked to Rich and he thought it sounded like a great idea. RHR runs a half-price special the week before Christmas, so it was somewhat affordable. So Rich booked the room and I pretended we weren't really going.

But then something changed (I need to update you on that soon) and I was feeling better, and it started to sound doable.

And we did!

The week before Christmas we spent two nights/three days with Laurie and her family at RHR. The kids had a ball!

Laurie's daughter GB is the same age as Noah and has very similar challenges. Kiel is two years younger than Hope, Laurie's youngest.

There wasn't any natural snow yet, unfortunately, but the snow maker was blowing away and pumping it out, so there was more than enough for us to go tubing. No skiing unfortunately.

 

All the kids loved it! 

Noah and GB shared a few rides in the double tube.

  

 While Rich and Kiel went together.

I was taking the pictures here, but took plenty of rides myself, with Kiel and alone. 

So much fun!

I don't think any of the kids stopped smiling the entire time they were on the slope.

I love this picture of Hope; she looks so happy with that smile.

Here Noah and Kiel are kicking back tee pee style.

The second favorite place was the pool with its indoor water slide.

They spent hours in the pool.

So did Daddy!

Noah's third favorite part was the bungee jumping, where he could bounce and flip as much as he wanted. Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures of that. :( 

RHR is a dude ranch, so of course there was horse back riding.

Rich and Noah went on a trail ride. Rich had the "crazy" horse. Unfortunately, no one told him until after the ride was over.  Kiel wasn't old enough so I stayed back with him

so he could do this!

Of course since it was a Dude Ranch, dudes, the boys had to have cowboy hats!

Kiel didn't want to take his off.

Not for the pool.

Not for bed. And yes, apparently cowboys do wear their boots to bed.

Nope, he wasn't taking it off for anything.

Kiel on THE Rocking Horse of Rocking Horse Ranch.

We had a great time. I'm very glad we did it. It was wonderful being with Laurie and her family, although we never did seem to have enough time to talk together. Guess we'll make up for it in Orlando in March.

We loved it so much that both families booked for the week before Christmas 2012!