Wednesday, October 08, 2008

You asked, I answered.

A few days ago I asked for some help with blog post ideas. I figure it's only fair I actually use those ideas now! Mom on the Run had some great questions so I'm going to tackle a couple of those tonight.

How has your son's school helped him transition to K? Did you get the one-on-one aide?

I think I basically answered this one yesterday with this post.

Your little is his development different or similar to his brother? Are there things he does that remind you of his brother?

Not surprisingly Kiel is developmentally ahead of where Noah was at this age. Kiel started taking steps about two weeks ago and yesterday I saw him take six steps. Noah took his first step at 14 1/2 months. He didn't sit up on his own until nine months, where as Kiel sat up at around five months. Noah was six months when we brought him home from the orphanage. We expected him to be a couple months behind developmentally but catch up without too many issues, which is what happened.

Noah had a lot of personality even at six months, very similar to Kiel. Noah had more "tricks" and did more mimicking than Kiel does. Noah said Mama at nine months, which was followed by Dada and kittycat. Kiel hasn't really said anything yet, although Rich swears he said Mama, and at daycare they said he is saying bye. Noah was always ahead of the curve with language.

I think the biggest difference between them is with their attachment. I'm still amazed by how attached Kiel is to me. The funny thing is is that his attachment is so normal! We didn't recognize at this age with Noah how serious his attachment issues were. I listened to other people when they told me that some kids just aren't as clingy as others.

Noah never really cuddled. He'd let us hold him and give him a bottle. He'd even let us rock him to sleep. But he never melted in to us. He wouldn't lay with us in bed and just be snuggled next to us. All the things that I'd been dreaming of and craving with a baby. All the things that Kiel does, and that Noah does now, but only after years of working on it. Of course with Kiel I'm able to breastfeed and I know that makes a huge difference too, that we are able to share that. I was always so sad I couldn't do that with/for Noah.

Is your relationship different or similar with the boys?

An acquaintance of mine recently told me that "you love your kids equally, but differently" and I knew exactly what she meant. I'm not sure how well I'll be able to articulate this, but I'll give it a shot.

Considering there is almost five years between Noah and Kiel it should be expected that my relationship with them is different. With Kiel I take care of all his needs, with Noah I'm teaching him to take care of his own. Kiel is totally dependant on me, Noah is feeling out his Independence.

That was the safe answer. The risky answer is not as easy to explain. Kiel is easy to love. I have endless amounts of patience with him. I never tire of being with him. I love Noah equally as much, but it's a more complicated love. It's not always easy. He exhausts me. We butt heads daily; multiple times daily. I love him fiercely though. And I will do everything I can to give him the best life possible. I believe in him.

I'd fight to the death for either one of them though!



  1. You are an AWESOME writer! I stumbled upon your blog and I couldn't leave till I read every entry! I even neglected my kids while doing so.... I started a blog a few months back but haven't seen it since. It just doesn't compare. Plus it's much more fun to read other people's stories about their lives, only then are they funny!

  2. Wow, you really said something important there. You're definition of how differently we love our kids was spot on. I think I love mine differently because they ARE so different, and how we relate to each other is polar opposites. I can think a butterfly is beautiful, I can find beauty in a sunset...different, but equally stunning.

  3. Wow! Think I'm going to frame that comment Jen! Thank you so much!