My birthday letter of love to my sweet baby Kiel.

My darling Kiel,

It is unbelievable to me that you are a year old. How has time passed so quickly? In some ways it feels like just last month that I was pregnant with you. Oh how I loved being pregnant with you. Feeling you move inside me thrilled me. For too many years I thought you were a miracle that would never happen to me. You can't imagine the joy I felt when that pregnancy test was finally positive! It still brings me to tears of joy when I think about it.

When you were inside me I felt a connection with you that amazed me. It was a selfish pleasure, because I knew no one else could experience with you what I was experiencing. I still look at your belly button and marvel how it connected you to me for 41 weeks.

And then one day you decided it was time to join us on the outside. And you made that desire very forcefully known to me! Let me tell you little boy of mine, birthing you was not easy! But it was oh so worth it!

Your Daddy and your big brother were awfully excited to have you join us too.

It thrilled me that I was able to breastfeed you. Something that I was always sad I couldn't do for your big brother. It created a bond between us. I was there for you in a way no one else could be. Again, I was amazed how my body could sustain you. I'm so happy you still want to share this with me.

I think you are the most beautiful, most clever little boy in the whole world. You charm me with your big smile and your gorgeous blue eyes.

And your laugh, it is infectious!



And you have such a joy of life!

And I still think those two little curls on the back of your head, what we call your infinity sign, are a sign of something incredibly special.

My sweet little boy, I can't imagine a life without you. You have changed me, made me whole. You make me want to be a better mother. You make me try harder, for you and your brother.

I love you beyond words. Part of me wishes you would stay this baby forever, and part of me is excited to see you grow. You change a little every day. You learn something new every day. Every day is a miracle to me with you in it.

I wish you a life of happiness and fulfillment. Grow strong, grow smart, grow happy!

Never give up that sense of wonder. Or that sparkle in your eye.

Always know you are my little prince.

You and your big brother are the frosting on my cake!

Never, ever, forget how much you are loved!