Pharmaceutically optimized

Last summer I had lunch with one of my favorite "out-laws," the wife of Rich's cousin. We try to get together for at least one lunch every summer the last couple years. It is such a treat to spend time with her.

During our lunch I mentioned how much better I was feeling since I started seeing a new psychiatrist and adjusting my antidepressant meds. Next thing I know we were joking about how great it was to be "pharmaceutically optimized" and what a great term that was.

Well, it's still holding true for me. Emotionally/mentally I'm feeling good. Actually, I think I'm feeling normal. It's just been so long since I've felt that, if I've ever felt that, that I'm not completely sure I am able to recognize normal.

One thing that has me realizing I'm doing well is that I'm actually cleaning my house. I think it's fair to say since Kiel was born I really haven't put much effort into cleaning at all. There are many areas of the house that are out of control. To the point where I am embarrassed to have people over.

Last spring my friend Bella helped me do an emergency cleaning of Kiel's bedroom (still the guestroom at the time) and the bathroom and laundry room, because of my parents visit.

At Thanksgiving I decided I needed to get control of the main floor of the house since we had invited friends over for a Hanukkah dinner in a couple weeks. And I am! Which is pretty huge for me. History has shown me complaining about the mess, making a start to clean it up, and never quite finishing it. With one or two fits during the process about how no one helps and I'm sick of having to be responsible for everything.

I've made my way 3/4 around the family room, all through the dining room/formal living room, breakfast nook, and am now sorting through the office. I still have to deep clean the powder room and try to repaste some wallpaper to the wall. And I have to do the kitchen, which is the part that has me a bit overwhelmed.

My goal was to have it all done before next weekend when our friends are coming for a Hanukkah dinner. I'm not going to get it all done. I need to be OK with that and just be happy with how much I have accomplished. And proud of getting off my ass and actually doing it.

It feels very good to look around and see less clutter and more shining surfaces!

The crazy part is trying to do this at the same time I'm trying to get ready for Christmas with all of it's responsibilities.

Now, if only I could get the boys in my house to buy in to the good feeling of having a neat house.



 

Easy mount, my ass!

Well, I think that title is a good example of the importance of the comma.

Today I installed a new garbage disposal. Easy mount it said. Hah!

First we let the disposal age properly in the box in our dining room. After determining this afternoon that it had aged the minimum required amount of time I decided today was the day. No freaking way I was going to pay someone $450 to put it in for me!

I had to remove the existing plug from it and hard wire it to the existing wiring. That went OK, although it took two calls to my Dad to make sure I was doing it right. No smoke or sparks, so all is good.

The real pisser was hooking up the drain pipe. The new disposal is bigger than the old one so the pipes didn't line up. After a trip to Lowe's for additional pipes (thanks Rich) I managed to get it all connected. Only one connection leaked, but I was able to tighten that up with some plumbers putty.

It works! It took me twice as long as I expected it to, but it works!

Isn't it beautiful!

I had a couple helpers during the process. Noah started out helping, but quickly became bored and annoyed me enough that I sent him outside to play. And yes, I know that is exactly what he wanted.

Thor actually proved to be more help than Noah. At least he was quiet and appeared thoughtful.

Rich helped with the last part this evening by holding the flashlight, but then he blew it by farting and stinking up the area when I couldn't move. Ass hole.

I figured by installing it today I not only saved the plumbers fee, but I also saved money by not hanging out online and being tempted by Black Friday deals.

My fifteen minute cleaning break to blog...and this is why!

Last summer I reached a low point with my feelings about Noah and what he was doing to our family. I really need to write a longer post about that soon. In a nut case shell though, it lead to us receiving eight months of intensive family based therapy. We have two therapists that work with us and either come in to the home for an hour once a week or Rich and I meet with them in their office for an hour. They also see Noah at school or in his aftercare program for an hour every week. They have been immensely helpful to us in changing our parenting approach with him. I need to write more about that soon too.

This post however is about an "ah hah" moment that hit me in our session this week. We were talking about what improvements we have made since our eight months is almost up. Rich was saying how it still frustrated him that Noah doesn't take care of his things, and his room is always a mess because Noah has no respect for anything. And it hit me...Noah doesn't take care of his things or really have any respect for them because Rich and I don't model that example for him. Our room is a mess. Typically our house is a mess. It's not disgusting, dirty messy, but it's cluttered. We have too many "things." And we let those "things" pile up. I will readily admit I'm the worst.

How will Noah learn to respect what he owns and where he lives if Rich and I don't?

I said that to Rich. I'm not sure if he "got it" but it really struck me.

I'll admit, when we were doing the last round of IVF and then I through my pregnancy and ever since then, I've been "stuck." I have very little energy because I don't take care of myself and I've reached a point with the house where I feel overwhelmed so just don't do anything.

I'm not sure yet how I'm going to fix this, but at least I'm realizing I need to. OK, I've known that I need to, but now I finally see how it's impacting my children. Kiel is pretty good at cleaning up his things, but that's because they teach him in daycare. I can't count on that continuing if we don't model it for him here.

So, I'm making a vow here. I'm going to start working on this! It may take some baby steps at first, but I'm going to do it.

The BIG BOY bed

I've spent the last few weeks redoing TB's bedroom. He's out of the crib and in to a big boy bed now. He's doing great with it!

I thougth I'd show off some pictures of what I did in his "new" room.

You can see the airplanes on his "sky," and the trains and trucks border. I'm very pleased with how it all turned out.

I have a few things I still want to do, like put up some display shelves to put some of his Noah's Ark collection and his Russian toys. The curtains came down and I installed a cellular shade after I took this picture.

I love my Martha Stewart side. I wish I could do it all the time. I'd much rather be "creating" than doing anything else.