Last summer I had lunch with one of my favorite "out-laws," the wife of Rich's cousin. We try to get together for at least one lunch every summer the last couple years. It is such a treat to spend time with her.
During our lunch I mentioned how much better I was feeling since I started seeing a new psychiatrist and adjusting my antidepressant meds. Next thing I know we were joking about how great it was to be "pharmaceutically optimized" and what a great term that was.
Well, it's still holding true for me. Emotionally/mentally I'm feeling good. Actually, I think I'm feeling normal. It's just been so long since I've felt that, if I've ever felt that, that I'm not completely sure I am able to recognize normal.
One thing that has me realizing I'm doing well is that I'm actually cleaning my house. I think it's fair to say since Kiel was born I really haven't put much effort into cleaning at all. There are many areas of the house that are out of control. To the point where I am embarrassed to have people over.
Last spring my friend Bella helped me do an emergency cleaning of Kiel's bedroom (still the guestroom at the time) and the bathroom and laundry room, because of my parents visit.
At Thanksgiving I decided I needed to get control of the main floor of the house since we had invited friends over for a Hanukkah dinner in a couple weeks. And I am! Which is pretty huge for me. History has shown me complaining about the mess, making a start to clean it up, and never quite finishing it. With one or two fits during the process about how no one helps and I'm sick of having to be responsible for everything.
I've made my way 3/4 around the family room, all through the dining room/formal living room, breakfast nook, and am now sorting through the office. I still have to deep clean the powder room and try to repaste some wallpaper to the wall. And I have to do the kitchen, which is the part that has me a bit overwhelmed.
My goal was to have it all done before next weekend when our friends are coming for a Hanukkah dinner. I'm not going to get it all done. I need to be OK with that and just be happy with how much I have accomplished. And proud of getting off my ass and actually doing it.
It feels very good to look around and see less clutter and more shining surfaces!
The crazy part is trying to do this at the same time I'm trying to get ready for Christmas with all of it's responsibilities.
Now, if only I could get the boys in my house to buy in to the good feeling of having a neat house.