Thursday, September 24, 2009

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

That phrase is a new addition to the wall of the karate studio Noah and I go to.

It was also the topic of our promotion lesson in karate tonight.

It's an interesting question.  And as I ponder it I can't help but think that there really isn't anything I'm not doing because I'm afraid of failing.

Maybe I'm on a bit of a high right now since I have accomplished two of my goals in the last couple weeks. I have some of my personal writing published (professionally I've been published a few times) and tonight I promoted to yellow belt.

The writing is something I've wanted to do for a long time. The karate is a new goal and in many ways a much bigger accomplishment for me.

For the first time in my life I am enjoying doing something physical besides sex.  Having a goal to work towards such as earning my next belt feels good! And I'm not afraid of failing. I know this is something I can do.  I will be a black belt by the time I'm 45.

There are things I'm afraid of failing in, but it doesn't stop me from doing them. Parenting Noah is pretty high up on that list. I do fear failing him, but I'm not going to stop trying. And most of the time I believe Rich and I will figure out what he needs and he'll be OK.

A year ago I was afraid of failing in my marriage, but we didn't give up on that either and we are doing so much better.

At work I push myself to take on new and more challenging projects. I like what I do and really have no interest in doing anything else right now.

The only thing that continues to niggle in my head when I ponder this question is having another child. If I knew I could get pregnant, have a healthy child, and Rich and I would have the energy and resources to parent that child I would do it in a heartbeat. I don't think its really the fear of failure that is stopping us from doing it though, it's more a lack of financial resources and Rich's age and lack of desire to have a third child that prevents us.

Maybe I'm not reaching deep enough inside me. Or maybe I've reached a level of contentment that I should accept and be happy about. Deep stuff, huh?

So what would you do if you knew you could not fail?



  1. If I knew I could not fail I would speak at a public place. Public speaking has not ever been my strong suit, I get all teary eyed and super red in the face. Virtually I am so confident and can speak or vlog with stride, but in real life I tend to get all nervous. I would be a public speaker for sure if I knew I couldn't fail so that I could encourage others to be happy with who they are and stand up for what they want in life.

  2. I think I've heard that more people fear public speaking than they fear death. I'm not a fan of public speaking, but I have had some successes with it. I don't exactly throw myself out there to do it though.

    Isn't it interesting how so many of us are much more confident virtually than we are "in real life."

    As I think more about this I wonder if my difficulty in making friendships "in real life" and my fear of social events where I don't know people is tied in to the fear of failure. Failing at being liked?