It was also the topic of our promotion lesson in karate tonight.
It's an interesting question. And as I ponder it I can't help but think that there really isn't anything I'm not doing because I'm afraid of failing.
Maybe I'm on a bit of a high right now since I have accomplished two of my goals in the last couple weeks. I have some of my personal writing published (professionally I've been published a few times) and tonight I promoted to yellow belt.
The writing is something I've wanted to do for a long time. The karate is a new goal and in many ways a much bigger accomplishment for me.
For the first time in my life I am enjoying doing something physical
There are things I'm afraid of failing in, but it doesn't stop me from doing them. Parenting Noah is pretty high up on that list. I do fear failing him, but I'm not going to stop trying. And most of the time I believe Rich and I will figure out what he needs and he'll be OK.
A year ago I was afraid of failing in my marriage, but we didn't give up on that either and we are doing so much better.
At work I push myself to take on new and more challenging projects. I like what I do and really have no interest in doing anything else right now.
The only thing that continues to niggle in my head when I ponder this question is having another child. If I knew I could get pregnant, have a healthy child, and Rich and I would have the energy and resources to parent that child I would do it in a heartbeat. I don't think its really the fear of failure that is stopping us from doing it though, it's more a lack of financial resources and Rich's age and lack of desire to have a third child that prevents us.
Maybe I'm not reaching deep enough inside me. Or maybe I've reached a level of contentment that I should accept and be happy about. Deep stuff, huh?
So what would you do if you knew you could not fail?