Sunday, July 12, 2009

Do I laugh? Do I cry? Or do I just let my head spin around a few more times?

I know I've said before on MNT that my husband is one of the most intelligent people I know, but not at all in a cocky way. (I lurve myself some intelligence btw, but not the cocky kind. Rich has a friend that's intelligent and successful and super cocky, which all lends itself to super obnoxious, and totally not a turn on to me.)

So anyway...back to the point. Rich is a damn smart man, but he's a man after all, and for all you married women reading this I probably don't need to say much more. But I will share this little story with you. Because I'm still trying to decide if I should laugh or cry.

Yesterday I went a little insane and scared Rich and Noah into helping me clean because we had crossed the line into disgusting in a few areas of the house. I do love how they jump to my bidding when my head starts to spin around and frothy drool is spraying from my mouth as I scream.

The last thing I asked Rich to do was clean the toilets so the baby sitter wasn't afraid to actually use them while she was there that evening.

As an aside - because I feel its important you all know every little part of my life...Lately we've been using those disposable toilet bowl cleaners, where you keep the handle but throw away the scrubbing part. I'm not a big fan of keeping things around that have touched other peoples shit, so I really like the disposable part of it.

OK, back to the story. Rich and I cross paths on the stairs as he heads to the powder room to clean that toilet as I head to our bathroom to take a shower. I'm out of the shower and he comes in the bathroom to clean that toilet. I'm talking to him as I'm combing out my hair and he's scrubbing away at the toilet bowl. When ALL.OF.A.SUDDEN he takes the scrubby part out of the toilet and starts wiping it around the top of the toilet tank. You know, the top, where we put the extra roll of toilet paper, and a book or magazine or two.

And my head may have spun around again a few times as I not so calmly said "what the fuck are you doing?"

And he looked at me, with complete innocence and cluelessness on his face and said "what?"

"Shit, you just cleaned our shit with that and now you are putting it all over. Seriously. What are you thinking?"


I tossed him the spray cleaner. He caught it and looked at me with a blank look on his face. Because clearly he still didn't know what he'd done wrong.*

I'm not sure 24 hours later he's figured out why I was so completely grossed out. And believe me, I'm not easily grossed out.

I probably over reacted didn't I...

*Or does he?!? Is he smarter even than I give him credit for? Is this his attempt at appearing inept so I don't ask him to clean again?



  1. Men just DON'T think, so he's probably unhappy that you are overthinking it.

    And,certainly, there's a passive-aggressive element to his incompetence.

  2. I'm sorry, I'll have to gloat a little, but I have a husband whose toilet-cleaning skills puts mine to shame. I mean, he gets all in there, with an old toothbrush sometimes. I don't even want to use it afterward.

    The toilet, I mean. Obviosuly I wouldn't be using the toothbrush...

  3. Ok, you think that's bad. One time I really freaked out because I thought I had a tape worm. I've lived abroad and have had issues....anyway...I'm not sure which is worse the fact that I felt comfortable asking my husband to take a look into the toilet to see whether this thing (in the end I think it was lettuce) was a tape worm or the fact that my husband stuck his hand in and pulled it out. I mean what the f...........@*&%$!!!!!

  4. Yes what is it with these husbands, the ones who have this natural tendency to stick their hands up the most revolting places. Mine went outside one day wearing my pink rubber gloves that came up to his wrists. Our sewage system was backing up into the house, so out he goes to clear the blockage. The next thing I know, is I see him coming into the house with both his brown stained arms up in the air asking me to turn on the taps! OMG, not only had half the sewage ended up inside my gloves, but the smell was beyond me, and to this day why come in the house to wash when there was water, taps, buckets of water outside. Moral of the story, hide those pink rubber gloves, and don't ever mention blocked pipes when my husband is around.