Saturday, July 22, 2006

Wow, big storm Tuesday night left us without power for a while, and then with out cable and internet until last night! Talk about blog withdrawal! I've been getting in to this daily posting bit, especially since my husband has been letting me use his laptop and I can blog while lounging on the couch!

So, without the distraction of TV or the internet, I've been forced to do some thinking (oy, my brain hurts). Actually, some of the pain is likely from the bonking my head took from the flashlight darling TB laid in to it Tuesday afternoon. I'm still not sure if this was an intentional come up behind mommy and hit her in the head from behind, or it was just a random throw up in the air and my head got in the way mishap. Regardless, TB was taught a new word/phrase (little son of a bitch) and spent a good amount of time in his room while I cried it out in mine. At least it wasn't the stroke I initially thought was going on before I realized what had happened.

But yes, back to the thinking. I realize I need to do something different. What I'm doing with TB now isn't working. So I'm going to search out some help for ME this time, and try and figure out how to be a different kind of mother.

It's interesting, because at work for the last year or so we've been doing some team building to try and get us through some interpersonal issues with our boss and my coworkers. Being a small group of 1 boss and 4 employees (all of us women) we've needed the help. Our last session was spent talking about how our boss is unlikely to change, so instead of bitching about her all the time, maybe we need to change things up which will hopefully force her to react differently to us. So, it makes sense that if this can work with a 40 something menopausal woman, why couldn't it work with my 3 1/2 year old terror.

But, first, I think I need help knowing just how to change it up. Cause my screaming is definitely not work. And sitting on the couch letting him do what ever because I'm too exhausted to stop him, isn't doing much either.

So I feel good just saying that. Plus, we actually had a nice evening last night. And when I read him stories before bed he really cuddled in and then wanted snuggles as he fell asleep.

1 comment:

  1. Just surfing over from ManuelaLand. ;o)

    I wanted to say that my daughter is very spirited and physical, and it's just the way she is. A book that has helped me in some ways is based on work by Haim Ginott and positive parenting. The book is "How to talk so children will listen" and it is most definitely about not screaming, and about getting children to behave for the right reasons. I turned to it because I really feared what things would be like in the teens if it was so nuts with a toddler.

    I will also say that age 3 1/2 was pure hell with my daughter's development. MANY, MANY mothers have told me that 2 was easy and 3? Three completely sucks. DD is now 4 (since May) and wow what a great difference. Her verbal skills have gone through the roof and I really wonder if that has helped her out of the toddler abyss.

    I know a friend IRL whose son was just difficult from day 1 in a lot of the ways you are learning about. Evaluations turned up that he most probably has a mild case of OCD. It isn't really something to medicate over; it's more about trying to help him manage his anxieties in general, to be a self-soother rather than an acter-outer.

    It really does help that they grow older, because from what I have read, not much can really be done with their difficult behaviors under age 3.

    Hang in there!