We finally finished cleaning out Kiel’s bedroom (thanks Bella!) and he is just thrilled! I’m trying not to feel too guilty that it took so long, considering his excitement level. Even Noah was impressed and I’ve had to explain more than a few times why the room can’t be his and why it IS fair that Kiel gets it. (This is what Noah’s bedroom looked like when he was three. Someday I should do a blog post about what it looks like five plus years and a few dozen rages later. It isn’t pretty.)
Kiel was very excited to go to bed in his own bedroom the first night. We never really expected him to sleep in it all night, but were shocked when he made it until about 4am before he crawled in bed with us.
Since then he has rarely made it past midnight, but he still starts out in his own room, which I think is huge progress!
Although happy to read stories and snuggle in his bed, he doesn’t actually want to sleep in it by himself. I have rarely been successful leaving the room before he is asleep. If he does fall asleep he does it with at least one hand holding on to my arm, which makes it very hard to get out of bed without him waking up. We tend to do better on the weekends when he is more tired because he doesn’t get a nap.
Most nights though, even if he does fall asleep, he ends up begging one of us to get in bed with him. He needs Peoples in his bed, he tells us.
Despite watching that English nanny do it on that TV show, I don’t have it in me by that time of night to keep taking him back to his room. I’m tired and I need some time to do my own work, and the only time I have is after the boys are in bed.
So, we have come to a compromise.
If Kiel will not sleep in his bed alone before Rich and I are ready for bed, he also can not come down to the family room. Therefore, the stalemate position is the staircase. He can’t get off the stairs, but we aren’t going to force him to his bedroom and make all of us miserable.
So this is how he ends up more nights than not.
Comfy huh?
Aww! My daughter is doing the same thing. It breaks my heart when she says she doesn't like to sleep alone. We get her to sleep in her bed and she joins us in ours about 2:30. I, too, tried the "take her back to bed every time" thing and after two nights of no sleep my husband told me to just let her sleep with us so we all could get some sleep. Our progress is that she no longer comes out after bedtime a hundred times asking for everything thing from being tucked in to a drink of water.
ReplyDeleteThat IS progress! We had lots of crying last night, but he eventually fell asleep in his bed. He woke up and came in to us at 1am. Honestly, I love sleeping with him and it feels strange when he is not there.
DeleteI made the mistake of saying one night, "He won't be this little for long, we should let him sleep with us." Now, at 10 years old, he uses that to his advantage! :)
ReplyDeletelol I am afraid of that! While I love sleeping with him now, the thought of still doing this in five or six years has me a bit concerned. Oh well, no use worrying about it now.
DeleteWe went through this with my son. He would stay in bed as long as I was in the room with him. So, I would sit on the floor reading or blogging, eventually inching my way to the door. After a few months of this, I would just sit in the hallway. He could see me from his bed and he'd crash after about 30-45 minutes.
ReplyDeleteEventually his sister offered to move her bed into his room, so they shared a room (and the same bedtime) until we moved into our new house. At that point, he agreed to have his own room and, although he still hates going to bed, he'll go and stay there all night.
Good luck in your transition, but my recommendation is to put an end-cap on your stairs arrangement (i.e., We'll do this until the end of the school year and then it's time to start falling asleep in your own bed.) That way he knows the expectation and has time to prepare for the transition.
I applaud you for having the patience to do that! I end up reading on my kindle in bed next to Kiel until he falls asleep, or I can't stand it any more. I love the idea of your daughter sleeping in the same room. I wish I could trust Noah enough to do that.
DeleteAlso meant to say that's a good idea to give him a time limit.
DeleteHa! All this advice from people and MY thought while reading this was, "Wow, making him stay on the stairs is a great idea!" Mine usually fall asleep in their own beds, but it takes FOREVER with one of us sitting in the room. By morning the three year old is in my bed and the 5 year old is on the floor of my room.
ReplyDeleteJamey, I'm impressed your 5yo is on the floor!
ReplyDelete