In our conversation, TNP not only told me to not waste my energy on fighting for Noah, but she also told me to take that energy and put it on my other child, who isn't getting enough attention.
Yes. She. Did.
And the only way I can take that after pondering and twisting it around in my noggin, is that she was implying we are neglecting Kiel.
Or maybe just that we don't give him as much attention as we do Noah.
Almost the same thing right? At least to a super sensitive mom it is.
I did not react to it when she said it. I calmly filed it away and then bitched about it to Rich when I got home.
I think that saying anything to her about it is just going to make me sound defensive. There really is no point.
She isn't here. She doesn't see what really goes on in our home. She has only met Kiel once.
Do I wish I was able to spend more time just with him? Yes, I do. Do I wish there were more chances to take him places without Noah? Yes, I do.
Do I think he is neglected? Hell no! Do I think he doesn't get enough attention? No, not really. Do I think the fact that he gets less alone time with us than Noah did is much different than any second child. No, probably not.
Ughhh.
I do think her intentions are good, but damn, her delivery sucks.
Yes, well, probably she thinks "this is the case for most people with children like Noah, so it must be true for her too". She probably means well, but she seems to me a little insensitive in her communication. Overall :-)
ReplyDeleteDon't let this get to you, I don't think it means anything. Just take the positive things she offers you, and try to ignore the things about her you don't like. Or change therapists, but well, I can imagine that's easier said than done...
x
Some people are just not good at dealing with sensitive issues for other people. Like... me! :-) (but I'm not a psychiatrist, thank god, I'd be a terrible one... for exactly the same reason...)
ReplyDeleteMy daughter gets much less attention than her older brother. Huh, when it was just him I had all the time in the world to focus on him. Go figure. Has it hurt her? No. She is FAR more independent and adventurous than he is. (Some days I really regret this, but that's another comment.) Sure, some of it may just be their natures, but I didn't have time to cater to her every need. She learned she could do things on her own. That being said, now that her brother is in preschool 3 days a week we have one afternoon I don't work where it's just her and me. We both look forward to this time every week. I think your therapist means well (I hope), but her delivery needs serious work.
ReplyDeleteI'm new to your blog, so I'm making my way through your old posts. They're really interesting!