Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Post-Frankenvulva repair update.

My apologies for being away for so long. I had such plans for you MNT, but as is often the case when I make plans, they never quite see the light of day.

So here I am 3 weeks post frankenvulva repair and I have yet to tell you about it!

It was...hmmmm...It was, well, OK I guess.  I had spinal anesthesia since they needed to be able to wake me up midway through the procedure to have me cough. The spinal was a bizarre feeling as I had absolutely no feeling or control from my waist down to my toes for several hours.

I talked with the nurse anesthetist during part of the procedure. I'm not exactly sure what we were talking about, but I'd bet money I embarrassed myself in some way. 

The procedure went well I was told and the anesthesiologist in the recovery area told me my vitals were like a teenager's. It was all I could do to keep myself from saying, yeah, that's not the only part of me that is like a teenager again after this surgery. Surprisingly however, I refrained.

Rich was waiting for me in my room. I felt pretty good until the spinal wore off, and then I realized what they did to me really sucked. And that there is no doubt that I am indeed a big baby. Between the IV, the urinary catheter, the blood pressure cuff, and the compression stockings on my legs I couldn't even roll over in the bed.  And then Rich had to leave so the baby sitter could go home and I cried. Actually, I cried even before that because it hurt, and as I said I'm a big baby.

The nurses were wonderful and did every thing they could to try and help the pain. The doctors weren't quite as generous. Damn, but my doctor and the resident covering with him must have thought I was some kind of drug seeking housewife because they were awfully stingy with the pain killers. "Ohh, we don't want you to get constipated," they kept saying. And I kept thinking "Ohh, I don't want to have to grab your testicles and rip them off, so give me the fucking Dilaudid."

They were pretty stingy with what they sent me home with as well, and I was like really, maybe he needs to have someone cut him from his anus to his testicles and see if he can handle that without anything more than ibuprofen.

I was a little grumpy.

But finally I was home and I slept a lot and read or watched tv when I wasn't sleeping. I had it all planned. One week to recover in bed. One week to recover in bed but do some paperwork type stuff, organize photos, catchup on emails, etc. Then two weeks to knock out some smaller home projects I have going on here. 

Are you done laughing yet?? Don't worry, I'll wait, Get it out.

Because yeah, here it is the beginning of the fourth week and all I've done is sleep, catch Kiel's upper respiratory tract infection, take care of Noah one day when he brought the stomach flu home, catch the stomach flu myself and feel miserable and vomit-y for three days myself, in the midst of which Kiel also came down with it.

Kiel's combination of URTI and fever and vomiting required a trip to the pediatrician. The visit itself went well. But on the way home I heard a gurgle in the back seat. I looked up into the rear view mirror just in time to see Kiel projectile vomiting orange liquid a la a bad horror movie.

So there I was, with my eight pound weight limit, trying to clean up the car seat without actually taking it out of the car. To which I finally gave up and just lifted the damn thing out while trying to clench my pelvic muscles together to stabilize them. (I have no idea if that works of not, by the way.) There was no way I was leaving orange vomit in my car until I could talk Rich into taking it somewhere to get cleaned.

A week later the kids are fine, but Rich looks like he is coming down with something. He's been so awesome taking care of all of us for the last three weeks. I'm sure he's ready for someone to take care of him.

As far as  my recovery I had my post-op appointment a couple days ago and the nurse practitioner said I'm healing fine. She lifted my weight restriction for lifting to 12 pounds, but said I still can't vacuum. I told her I love her.

I have a week left until I go back to work. Maybe I'll get something done this week, but I'm not going to hold my breath. I just finished the second book of the MIllenium series and if the third is anything like the first two, I doubt I'll be able to put it down until I'm done. 



  1. So... the real question is, was it worth it? Would you do it again?

  2. That's a good question Amy. I don't think I'll really be able to answer that for at least another month, maybe longer. Once I'm back doing karate and find I don't pee myself, then I'll really know. Plus, I can't have sex for at least another four weeks, so that is up in the air as well.