We spent the rest of our anniversary day working, taking Noah to the attachment therapist, and then getting the boys to bed.
And then we met on the couch to enjoy some wine and cheese and watch a movie.
Here were some of the options for movies that we entertained and snippets of the commentary we amused ourselves with:
A Perfect Getaway - after the morning we had we could have used one.
Don't Let Me Drown - well then don't piss me off
Disaster Movie- 'nuff said
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past - never a good thing to discuss, especially on your anniversary
I Love You, Man - As long as I'm the one saying it.
Jennifer's Body - who's Jennifer?
Summer Catch - I was, wasn't I?
We ended up settling on The Time Travelers Wife (which dude, I somehow never read the book, so the ending? Not exactly what I was hoping for.)
Rich filled our wine glasses from the bottle of Mommy's Time Out my boss bought me several weeks ago (how's that for awesome?) and then he uncovered the cheese plate before he went to grab the bread he had warming.
And as he walked away this nasty odor hit me and I was all "geeze, did you seriously just fart and walk away? You couldn't have waited? So romantic."
Rich vehemently denied doing any such thing, which I of course didn't believe, because the evidence was in the air! And my nose. And past history people - ten plus years of living with the guy. I know what he is capable of.
He continued to deny it though, and at that point I had to believe him, because really, what man denies producing a nose burner like I was smelling? It was the kind that you brag about to your guy friends at work the next day (at least I assume they do that, right?). So for him to deny it made no sense at all.
Well the smell didn't dissipate. I was a bit perplexed until I realized it was coming from the general area of the coffee table. Where the cheese plate was.
For our anniversary? My husband bought us fart cheese.
OMG, this was the worst smelling cheese I have ever encountered.
And not only did it smell like fart, it tasted like fart.
Don't ask me how I know what a fart tastes like, because until then I had no idea. I do now though, and it is not one bit pleasant. Just trust me on that.
And I was all "Dude, you have got to take this back and tell them something is wrong with it. Just tell them it tastes like farts. Like maybe the cow is sick. Maybe it's serious? The entire herd could be dying or something. It could be a fatal disease. A prion disease. But maybe we could stop it in time, before it is transferred to humans! We could save humanity if you would only take it back and tell them they sold us fart cheese!"
Even after ten years I have the power to make him speechless.
And that my friends is how we spent the evening of our ten-year wedding anniversary.