Sunday, May 02, 2010

I called my karate instructor a vampire, and other news.

A couple weeks ago my karate instructor asked me if I'd write up a short testimonial about my experience that he could share with the moms of his younger students in conjunction with a Mothers Day promotion he is doing.

Of course I said sure and then promptly forgot about it until I started to see him promoting a free month of training for moms last week. And then I felt obligated to put pen to paper, or fingers to laptop in my case, and make him proud!

I figured if I was going to inspire anyone to start training I needed to be honest about my experience. And insert a little humor, because frankly, that's how I roll.

So I started out my testimonial by saying my instructor was a vampire. And then I wrote about almost dying, falling on my face, and my leaky bladder. Oh hell, you can go here and read a somewhat beefed up version I wrote for the Philly Moms Blog, because I was struggling to get something in for them too by the end of the month.

The testimonial that I sent him starts with "Don't tell him I said this, but I'm pretty sure Mr. M is a vampire."

I ended the actual testimonial with: "So I want to thank Mr. M for
glamoring me into starting and then sticking with it. And Miss S for letting me get all emotional on her and giving me the extra help I needed to catch up. And Mr. C. for letting me beat up on him when I really needed to practice my self-defense on a person other than my husband. And for all the other adults in the class who have taken the time to help me and teach me and most importantly encourage me!

So come on Moms! If this
Mom can do it you can too!"

Instead of how I ended it on PMB with the bit about the fat girl in class and how my husband better not wake me up in the morning poking me with Mr. Happy. So I'm not a total idiot. At least I know what is better to put out on the internetz for everyone to see, versus what I should just email to my instructor. banging head on table

But I'm starting to think based on the lack of response from my instructor that perhaps he was looking for a more traditional testimonial and not one in which he was referred to as a vampire. Especially since the testimonials he has been sending out every day via email are much more traditional, and shockingly not a single one of them mentions that he is a vampire.


So in other news:

I earned my purple belt two weeks ago, so I am now an intermediate level karate student. The kata I am learning right now is called "mass attack." Which basically means "stay away from me bitches, because I can hurt you!"

Noah earned his junior level yellow belt and participated in a tournament. I really need to tell you all about that because he rocked out on his combination moves all ninja style. 

And I have a review and giveaway up here for Zestra. An arousal enhancing oil that helps heat things up in the nether regions (or in my case the frankenvulva). There I compare sex to a bus ride. So go there and enter to win! If you leave a comment there with the secret code phrase "your karate instructor is a vampire" I'll give you an extra entry! Shhhh...that will be our little secret!
Tonight we found our cat had peed in Kiels box of Matchbox cars. Fortunately Rich found it. And the rule in this house is "you smelt it, you dealt it."

My right eyelid and right upper lip have started twitching lately. I think I'm a little stressed, especially as we fight for the services we need for Noah this summer. We have four meetings in the next two weeks alone that have to do with this, and I'm sure there will be more. 

Fortunately I am not super busy at work right now, so the fact that some of this personal stuff is encroaching into work hours isn't a big deal. 

And with that I leave you to ponder if you will, how I should handle my next meeting with Mr. M.  Hair up off my neck perhaps?


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