Once again the wonderful people at Eden Fantasys offered to let me review one of their adult toys!

Who thinks working there must be one of the best jobs ever!?!

This time they sent me Little Paul.  I know, Little Paul!  If I was Paul I definitely would not want to be referred to as "little."  And why Paul?  Did Paul design it?  These are some of the things I think about late at night.  Sad, I know...
Annnyyywayyy.....meet Little Paul.  He has eyes, and what looks like a mouth.   And he's kind of segmented, like a worm.  Cute or creepy?  I'm not quite sure yet. Because now all I can think of is him inside my va-jay-jay eying up my cervix.  Or knocking on my G-spot.  Helllooooo  anyone home?  And if there's an echo...well, I had a baby peoples, with forceps, and stitches that came out too soon.  Just saying...

OK, OK, back to Little Paul.

IM LOOKIN AT UR CERVIX AN KNOCKIN ON UR G-SPOT.

Breathe, Katt, breathe.  I'm loosing focus here.  'Cause I'm cracking myself up!

OK, so Little Paul.  When I opened up the package my first thought, after I saw he was made in Germany, was that he's really smooth feeling.  Soft, smooth feeling.  Quite nice actually. I guess that's from the medical grade 100% silicone.

According to the description Little Paul is about half the size of his "colleagues."  Since I don't have much to compare him to I'll take their word for it.  He's definitely smaller than the real thing (yes honey, I mean you and by more than a "little"!).  But he did hit the spot he was intended to hit.  So yes, if you've been following the saga, I have indeed located my G-spot.  Still working on getting it to perform as I'd like, but that's a post for another day.

Of course Little Paul vibrates, because whats the point if it doesn't, right?  There are two push buttons towards the base that control the different vibratory variations. (I kept losing track of where the buttons were though, which was kind of frustrating.)  There are increasing levels of intensity, and then a couple options with different pulsing variations.  And it's quiet, which I really liked.  No worrying you are going to wake someone up.  Like a horny husband the kids.  And a very smooth vibration, if that makes sense.  Ultimately though, I would have liked it more if the intensity had increased a couple more levels.  As I've said before, I need the powerz people.

So, the Pros:  discreet, very quiet, love the feel of the silicone, multi-speed vibration, definitely felt like a well made, quality item,  cute (if you don't think about the eyes)

And the Cons: I didn't like the position of the push-button controls, the vibration wasn't powerful enough for me, moderately pricey at $47.99 (although again, good quality)

If you are looking for a good quality, discreet, G-spot vibe, and you don't require serious power in your vibration, I would say Little Paul is a good choice for you.  I you require the powerz though, like I do, well, we'll keep on looking.

Rich spent his evening with The Boss, and I stayed home and wrote about vibrators

Rich went to a Springsteen concert tonight. And, he's going again tomorrow night. Boy, fans of The Boss are a serious breed.

So what did I do? I stayed home and wrote about adult toys on my review blog. Check it out!

Fanning the flames of the dysfunction.

I was at Target yesterday picking up a yoga mat for the yoga class I'm starting tonight.* I walked by the card section and figured I should pick up mothers day cards while I was thinking of it.

If you've read my blog the last several months you shouldn't be surprised to hear me say that picking out a mothers day card for my own mother was not easy. There was no way I was going to get her one of those flowers, you are so wonderful, I'm so lucky to have you, I love you, blah, blah, blah kinda cards.

I perused the cards, I muttered to myself about the lack of appropriate passive-aggressive cards for dysfunctional families like mine. I started to get a little depressed.

And then I found it. The perfect card. Tasteful graphics, simple, to the point.

On the front of the card it shows a tree. At the top it says "To mom on mothers day"

Under the tree it says "They say the nut doesn't fall far from the tree..."

Inside it says "and that scares the hell out of me."

Am fairly certain my mother will NOT see the humor in it.

Am almost as certain that I DON'T fucking care! Well, at least not enough to not send it.

Am also certain that I'm not nearly as mature as I should be.


*Tell me this isn't the greatest name for a yoga class "You don't have to be teeny to be a yogini," also know as "yoga for round people."

Am I one of "those" parents?

Noah participated in his first karate invitational yesterday. I was so freaking proud of him!

I'll be honest, when we found out this was happening a few weeks ago I had some serious doubts that he would be able to handle it. I didn't doubt his ability to learn the Kata and what ever else he needed to learn. I just wasn't sure he'd be able to handle the pressure of performing in front of strangers; not to mention if he could handle the chaos of all the people and noise at an event like that. But, his instructor said he was ready. And I'm determined to stop sheltering him so much and let him be as "normal" as possible.

We practiced his kata and what he had to say before it for a good week. Some days he did great, some days he was a pain in the ass and I really struggled to have enough patience to try and get us both through it. It didn't help at all that during this we were messing around with his medication and trying to wean him off his Tenex, which let me tell you was a giant disaster!* We realized pretty quickly though and got him back on it a little over a week ago, so last week he was doing much better.

So yesterday he performed his Kata in front of three judges. He was the first to perform in his group. He was strong, in control and focused. He won third place. OK, that sounds much better than it really is as every one in his age group won a trophy. They participated in groups of four and therefore, trophies were given out for 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th place.

There was one point where I was actually very close to tears as I watched him sit on the edge of the ring with the other kids. For so long I worried he wouldn't ever get it together enough to do "normal" things like this. He/we really have come so far in the last year!

OK, enough about how proud of him I was. What I really wanted to talk about in this post was how I found myself coming very close to being one of "those" mothers. Hell, I watched Rich come very close to being one of "those" fathers. After Noah performed we were so proud of him, and rightly so. But, when he "only" got 3rd place we looked at each other in surprise. Certainly he deserved 2nd place? The one girl in his group was clearly going to win 1st, that was no surprise, she was very good. But Noah, didn't he do better than the boy who did get 2nd? He was robbed, we thought. If only he had sat in a different spot around the ring. If only he had performed with a different group of kids. Didn't the judges know how far he had come? That he was "special?"

At one point I realized what I was doing. Noah didn't care. He was just thrilled to have won a trophy. Sure, he would have been excited if he won the "big" one, but no more excited than he already was. He knew we were proud of him and he was proud of himself. And, he had fun! Wasn't that what was really important?

Just where is the line between being the supportive parent and being the controlling parent? The line between being proud of your child, and showing off your child? Did I want him to win for himself, or for me? If he was happy, why did I even care that he "only" won 3rd place?

How do I make sure in the future that I keep my focus on ensuring positive experiences for Noah, and not letting myself believe that if Noah does "well" at something I'm a more succesful parent?



*Just going to say here that I really never thought the Tenex was helping Noah as we didn't think we saw any difference in him when we started it last summer. I was so, so wrong! As we slowly weaned him off his behavior started to get out of control. He was like a different boy. Three days after getting him back on it we had our old Noah back.

It's an honor to be nominated! But hell yeah, I'd like to win!

This has been quite a week for me in my blogging life. One thing I'm not sure I can talk about yet, but two I can tell you about.

First, I'm going to review another product soon from Eden Fantasys. Whoohooo! You can see my first review here.

And second, and equally, if not more, exciting, I've been nominated for a Nickelodeon's Parents' Picks awards in the Best Local Blog category. Me! Little ol' me, the mommy that needs therapy and writes about adult toys and whines a lot drinks wine a lot.

I have to be honest and say that I'm really not sure how this works. I do know that I received an email a few weeks ago about my blog being part of GoCityKids/ParentsConnect Local. They described themselves to me as a Webby Award-winning website that's now a part of Nickelodeon's ParentsConnect group, a website that offers extensive information for families about what's happening in cities and towns across the US. I read the email, thought "cool," and promptly forgot about it until last week when I googled myself and found it was looking back through my email.

So here I am!

I'm listed as an "attraction" which I'm finding quite amusing. Heh And the "cost" is "free" and I'm suitable for "all ages." *snicker*

I think I need people to follow the link (here it is in case you missed the first one) and review it or rate it. Right now I have one (1), yes ONE, review/rating. Mary, I love you!! Who ever you are!

So if you feel at all inclined to boost my blogging confidence, which impacts my real life confidence far more than I should ever admit, I'd be thrilled.

Just in case you missed the first two links to it, HERE IT IS AGAIN.

please

A give-a-way on the MNT Review Blog

Check out the MNT Review Blog and win some yogurt and a prize pack!!

Really, please, go there! I know it's new and an extra step, but it would make me so happy!

For you Maddie, we'll hold them closer, tighter, longer...

How do you explain to people that don't blog or use Twitter that you are crying for a baby that you never met in person? How do you explain to your boss, your husband, your own child, that the tears you shed are for a family that you have come to know through words and pictures only?

Like so many of you I was beyond devastated to hear that sweet, little Maddie passed away Tuesday night. I hadn't been on Twitter for a couple days so I didn't know she was in the hospital. I read that first Tweet about grieving for her and Heather and Mike and I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. I literally froze, then hunched over, started to breath faster...and then frantically read my Twitter feeds trying to figure out what had happened, finally ending up at Heathers blog. And the tears started, and turned in to sobs.

I closed my office door. I wasn't ready to explain to anyone. To try and get them to understand that, Yes, I don't really "know" them, as in we have never met in person. But, Yes, I do know them. I've read their story, their journey. I've emailed a few times with Heather. We talked about making baby food, as my son was born eight days after Maddie. I've Twittered with both Heather and Mike. I've smiled every time I saw Maddie's picture...her big eyes, that infectious smile.

I feel my pain, and know it pales in comparison to what Heather, Mike and their families are going through. I can't begin to fathom what that hell is. How it will be with them the rest of their lives.

I hope that in some way the outpouring of love and support the blogging/twittering family is showing them gives them a small amount of peace. I hope that knowing how mothers and fathers all around the country yesterday held their own babies and children closer, tighter, longer provides them some comfort.

Mike and Heather you are in my thoughts. I send you my love. I wish it could be more, so much more.

Please consider donating to the March of Dimes in Maddie's name. You can click on the button in my sidebar!

Or click here and make a donation to Maddie's family via Paypal. It's a small thing to in memory of a little girl with such a big smile!

Updates to the MNT Review Blog!

BlogHer recently sent out an email clarifying their guidelines about reviewing products and doing giveaways. I'm not completely sure I've followed their rules to the letter in the past, so to take away the "am I doing this right" factor I'm going to start posting any reviews or giveaways on my review post MNT Review Blog. I'm going to move the review posts I've done recently over to my review log with a link on that original post. When I post something new over there I'll let you all know on here.

I hope you'll visit my review blog when I have something new up! I'll have a giveaway up on it in the next day or two!

Parenting resources I love!

Rich and I have been working very hard the last year on our parenting skills. It's been tough changing our admittedly lax parenting style. Maybe lax isn't the right word, perhaps passive is a better term? We have really struggled with understanding what Noah can actually control with his behavior and what is part of his "condition." It has taken us a while, but I think what we are coming to realize is that even though he has a long list of diagnoses attached to him, ultimately he CAN control a lot of his behavior. It took us seeing others (i.e., his teacher, his karate instructor) setting firm limits and expectations, and seeing him rise to their expectations, to make us realize what wimps we were being as parents. Love really doesn't "cure" everything, and by giving him unconditional love without clear expectations as to what we expected with his behavior, we were basically allowing him to run the show.

I've been exploring parenting resources recently as we work on being more consistent and firm with Noah. I've found some interesting and useful websites, and have been following some great people on Twitter that I thought I would share with you.


Kimberley Clayton Blaine The Go-To Mom is a national child development expert and a licensed Family and Child Therapist who specializes in working with children ages newborn to six years old. She has a new book out, Mommy Confidence: 8 Easy Steps to Reclaiming Balance, Motivation and Your Inner Diva. I haven't read the book yet, but I've spent some time on her website and have found some great stuff to help me with Kiel and the struggles of raising a toddler. Noah might be our challenging child, but I can always use help with Kiel too, especially so I don't repeat any of the mistakes I made with Noah. You can find her on Twitter as The Go To Mom

I've been receiving emails from parent coach Susan Epstein for a few months. I'm embarrassed to admit that I just started actually reading them lately and am finding some great parenting information in them to help with Noah. Her website Parenting Powers has some great tools (both for sale and free) as well as blogs written by her parenting coaches. Sign up for her emails. I think you'll find some good stuff there. I haven't bought any of her products, so I can't speak for them, but what I've found on her website has been helpful. She's also on Twitter.

And of course you know I've been trying out the Total Transformation Program which I'm reviewing on my review blog. I'm way behind on my review posts though.

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Some Twitter Links:

ADHDParenting I've found some great 140 character tips here, and some good links.

5MinforSpecialNeeds

TheFamilyCoach


Let me know what parenting sites you find helpful!!

My fifteen minute cleaning break to blog...and this is why!

Last summer I reached a low point with my feelings about Noah and what he was doing to our family. I really need to write a longer post about that soon. In a nut case shell though, it lead to us receiving eight months of intensive family based therapy. We have two therapists that work with us and either come in to the home for an hour once a week or Rich and I meet with them in their office for an hour. They also see Noah at school or in his aftercare program for an hour every week. They have been immensely helpful to us in changing our parenting approach with him. I need to write more about that soon too.

This post however is about an "ah hah" moment that hit me in our session this week. We were talking about what improvements we have made since our eight months is almost up. Rich was saying how it still frustrated him that Noah doesn't take care of his things, and his room is always a mess because Noah has no respect for anything. And it hit me...Noah doesn't take care of his things or really have any respect for them because Rich and I don't model that example for him. Our room is a mess. Typically our house is a mess. It's not disgusting, dirty messy, but it's cluttered. We have too many "things." And we let those "things" pile up. I will readily admit I'm the worst.

How will Noah learn to respect what he owns and where he lives if Rich and I don't?

I said that to Rich. I'm not sure if he "got it" but it really struck me.

I'll admit, when we were doing the last round of IVF and then I through my pregnancy and ever since then, I've been "stuck." I have very little energy because I don't take care of myself and I've reached a point with the house where I feel overwhelmed so just don't do anything.

I'm not sure yet how I'm going to fix this, but at least I'm realizing I need to. OK, I've known that I need to, but now I finally see how it's impacting my children. Kiel is pretty good at cleaning up his things, but that's because they teach him in daycare. I can't count on that continuing if we don't model it for him here.

So, I'm making a vow here. I'm going to start working on this! It may take some baby steps at first, but I'm going to do it.