updates and promises

There are so many thoughts in my head right now about things to blog about. And, since I'm finally feeling better, I'm going to try to commit to posting here more often, at least two or three times a week.

So, yes, I'm feeling good these days. Thank god for antidepressants! I'm actually enjoying life again! I consider myself very lucky...and thankful. Thankful that Amazing Daddy dragged my ass to the doctor to get some help. I was only truly miserable for about six weeks. I know so many women who struggled for months. My only real issue now is that I still get some episodes of anxiety, but even they have decreased significantly. When they happen they tend to be late afternoon, and I think are somewhat triggered by the thought of AD and The Boy coming home. TB has been a bit of a trial in the evenings these days. I think mostly because his ADHD meds have worn off by then and he's tired from a full day at school. We handle it, but it's not always easy.

Baby Brother (or Tug as I call him) is thriving. At his two month check up last week he was 11 pounds, 10 ounces and 24 1/2 inches long. He grew two inches and gained two pounds last month. I was a bit concerned that I wasn't producing enough breast milk for him, as some times in the evening he wants to nurse constantly. A few times we gave him a couple ounces of formula, just to settle him down. I hate to do that, since it seems to constipate him, but I also hate to think of him being hungry. I started taking fenugreek and alfalfa, and drinking Mothers Milk Tea. Plus I'm drinking a lot more water. It seems to be making a difference. My breasts are huge, especially first thing in the morning! It's funny actually; I didn't get stretch marks when I was pregnant, but now I'm getting them in my breasts. And joy...my left breast is becoming significantly bigger than my right.

BB is such a joy! He smiles all the time and it is such a beautiful site! We finally took him in to get professional pictures taken last week. I can't wait to get them back. He still won't sleep by himself, but then again, I really haven't tried to get him to either. The only time he will sleep without being on or very close to me (like less than a couple inches) is if he's in his car seat. Right now I have him in our powder room with the fan going and it seems to be working. Who knows if it will still work tomorrow though. Mostly he's in my arms.

I've started back at work a couple weeks ago. Initially I was going to take on a couple smaller projects to help out, since they got slammed with work right after I had BB. Somehow though, I've taken on three very large projects instead. Right now I'm going in to the office a couple times a week for meetings, but doing the majority of my work at home. BB goes in with me and so far it is working out well. He's great during meetings and most of the time will nurse himself to sleep. No one seems too freaked out when I'm bf'ing him during a meeting. I feel a little bad for the only man we have in our group, but he seems to be handling it ok. I've definitely mastered the art of discreet breast feeding. There certainly is not a lack of people who want to hold him while we are there.

Some thoughts that I hope to write about soon:

my MIL and her comments on hemorrhoids and fooling around
that no one will ever have my eyes
what are we going to do with the left over embryos
more things I like/don't like regarding baby stuff
finding some of my old journals from college
the cradle my brother made for us
how TB is handling being a big brother
general updates on TB's ADHD and behavior, as well as kindergarten registration

So feel free to keep on my ass until I follow through!