Lonely

I haven't posted much recently because I haven't been sure how to say what has been going on, especially in my head.

I've been so emotional the last few weeks. It seems like every other day I start crying and can't seem to stop. One day was so bad I couldn't even go to work.

I can't completely pinpoint what is going on, but I think a lot of it is I feel lonely lately. Of course, even I ask myself how I can feel lonely when I have a son and husband.

I'm certainly feeling the lack of female friendship these days, more than I have in years. I regret that I never made any close friendships when I moved here, other than Jen and Nancy, who both moved away. When I first moved here I didn't need anyone other than Amazing Daddy. I didn't want to be with anyone else. Then The Boy came along and my life was full, and busy.

Here and there I have felt the gap, but for the most part I was able to fill it with something else. Now though, probably because I feel this distance between AD and myself, it is more obvious that I don't have anyone else to lean on or talk to.

God, even writing this has me in tears. Man, these pregnancy hormones can just go fuck themselves.

All I know is I have all these amazing things going on in my body, and my sex drive is going crazy, and I feel like I have no one to share it with. Not that I would be sharing that with a girlfriend...but at least I could bitch about it with her.

I miss my husband. I miss good sex. I miss my sanity.