The Ladies

Yes, I'm still emotional, but let's talk about The Ladies today.

I'm quite fascinated with my own breasts. I have been pretty much since they first appeared when I was a pre-teen/teen.

Well now, let me tell you, they have become my latest obsession. I can't stop looking at them, poking them, prodding them, and squeezing them. My nipples are amazing! I mean, they are huge! And the areola, wowzers! And now, they are starting to produce colostrum. How exciting is that?!?

So, please excuse me why I go admire them and squeeze out a little juice.

And yes, AD thinks I've totally lost it.

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Still on the subject of boobs, please send some love out to my friend NG who is going in for a breast biopsy tomorrow. She has some lovely Ladie's herself!

Lonely

I haven't posted much recently because I haven't been sure how to say what has been going on, especially in my head.

I've been so emotional the last few weeks. It seems like every other day I start crying and can't seem to stop. One day was so bad I couldn't even go to work.

I can't completely pinpoint what is going on, but I think a lot of it is I feel lonely lately. Of course, even I ask myself how I can feel lonely when I have a son and husband.

I'm certainly feeling the lack of female friendship these days, more than I have in years. I regret that I never made any close friendships when I moved here, other than Jen and Nancy, who both moved away. When I first moved here I didn't need anyone other than Amazing Daddy. I didn't want to be with anyone else. Then The Boy came along and my life was full, and busy.

Here and there I have felt the gap, but for the most part I was able to fill it with something else. Now though, probably because I feel this distance between AD and myself, it is more obvious that I don't have anyone else to lean on or talk to.

God, even writing this has me in tears. Man, these pregnancy hormones can just go fuck themselves.

All I know is I have all these amazing things going on in my body, and my sex drive is going crazy, and I feel like I have no one to share it with. Not that I would be sharing that with a girlfriend...but at least I could bitch about it with her.

I miss my husband. I miss good sex. I miss my sanity.

Very interesting article about adoption and blended families.

http://nymag.com/news/features/35817/

No longer wanted

Last night I asked (not so) Amazing Daddy to help me take off the nail polish on my toe nails. Frankly, it’s getting harder to get down that far and still be able to breath. Not to mention too much bending over like that has been known to trigger my gag reflex, resulting in nasty vomiting.

Well, you would have thought I had asked him to wipe my shit covered ass.

I mean, WTF? So my ankles are a little swollen, it’s not like my feet are nasty.

Well, he did it, but grudgingly. I swear he did everything he could to not actually have to touch anything.

Honestly, it really hurt my feelings. It’s been fairly clear the last couple weeks that he is just not attracted to me anymore. And here I am, actually having a libido for once! Apparently, now that I have to be on top, he feels crushed by me.

Way to make a girl feel good! It really hurt my feelings.