My adorable boys

The cute one at the bottom? You'd never guess from this picture that he spit in his Dad's face today would you. *sigh*

Mommy Makes Aebleskiver

I was looking through my drafts folder tonight for some inspiration for a post and I realized that I had started this one last summer and never finished it, so here you go!

My great-grandmother, whom we called Ninin, immigrated to the US from Denmark when she was a teenager. She was an awesome great-grandmother. Unfortunately, she passed away when I was 14.

My best memories of her are spending Sunday afternoons doing crafts and watching old movies with her. She loved nothing more than when her great-grandchildren were with her. I'm so glad I was able to know her and spend so much time with her as a child.

One thing she did for her grandkids and great-grandkids was cook for us. Every Sunday morning she made us Ninin's pancakes, what we called Danish crepes. They are still my comfort food of choice! Although no matter how I try I've never been able to make them as good as hers.

On special occasions she made us pancake balls, or aebleskiver. Yum! I distinctly remember her showing me how to make them and how to flip them with a knitting needle.

Well, last June MomImpact and the folk's at Aunt Else's Aebleskiver had a contest and I won an Aunt Else's Aebleskiver starter kit! 

I can't even tell you how excited I was! In fact, this is what I emailed to Kim at MomImpact when I found out I won: 

"OMG, you just totally made my night!! And my husband is laughing at me right now because I am so excited. He clearly does not understand the power of the aebleskiver! Thank you!"

The kit included an Aunt Else's^TM 9-Hole Cast Iron Æbleskiver Pan, Aunt Else's^TM Æbleskiver Mix, a handle hot pad, and stainless steel chopstick for turning the æbleskiver.

First I had to season the pan, and then I brushed it with oil. I use a pastry brush to oil the pan.

As the pan was heating up I mixed up the batter. 

Then I filled the pan. I use an ice cream scoop but I read on Aunt Else's website that they use a squeeze bottle. That is an awesome idea and would eliminate some serious mess I think.

I like to put a little jam (my favorite is apricot) in the middle, although I didn't in this batch. You can put all kinds of stuff inside them (sweet or savory). The traditional aebleskiver was filled with a slice of apple.

You have to cook them just enough so they set on the bottom, then you use the chopstick to turn them. It takes a little practice to get it just right so they stay round.

I tend to turn them about a third of the way at a time. You could flip them right over, but then they are a little flatter.

Here's my first batch.

And here's a full plate. Yummm!! They take a little time to make but they are oh so worth it!

Well, at least I'm consistent.

Last Wednesday, the day after the election, I was watching TV after I put the boys to bed. Rich was out playing tennis.

He came home and we were talking about how he played and how the boys did going to bed when he stops and looks at the TV and says "fuck, are you serious? They are still showing political commercials?"

To which I responded "damn, you have to be kidding me. That's a major screw up on someones part."

And then another political ad came on and we were both saying something along the lines of "this is insane, it makes no sense."

And then I remembered I was watching something I had DVR'd the week before. Oops!

Guess what I did tonight while watching TV?

 

Kiel's speech is really coming along!

Today Noah let the cat outside. Don't ask, we have no idea why.

Rich was outside chasing him (the cat, not Noah) and lost his cool a bit and started to swear.

I say started because all he got out was 'god' and then he stopped himself.

Fortunately, Kiel was right there to finish for him with 'damn it.'

Oh yeah, we are rocking this parenting gig!!  

Thinking out loud

I love my job. Really!

It's often stressful. Occasionally tedious. But mostly it pushes me and makes me want to learn more and become even better at what I do. I am able to meld my love of science and my need for creativity. The really cool thing is that part of what I do is so unique that I'm only one of a few people in the country (maybe the world) that has the knowledge and ability to do it. (Yes, I'm being intentionally vague, sorry.) 

I'm incredibly lucky to do something I'm passionate about that still allows me the flexibility to be home with the kids when they need me. I'm home to get Noah on the bus and then back home to get him off in the afternoon.

I'm allowed tons of flexibility if I need it and have a boss that not only respects me but that I know values me and trusts me.

I doubt I'd have a problem getting another job where I make a shit load more money, but I can't imagine I could find one that is as flexible or understanding as where I am now. Or where I would have the resources that I have now or the amazing people that I work with. Or is only ten minutes away from where I live.

I'm also lucky that I rarely have to travel. Occasionally I have to go to DC for an FDA meeting or drive to see one of our local clients. I've flown in and out of Chicago in a day a couple times. There are two or three international conferences a year that I could go to, but because of the kids I have chosen not to (the last one was in Athens, Greece - that was hard to turn down). While my boss would like me to go to some of these, she understands that 1) I don't like to be away from the boys for more than a day or two, and 2) when I am away it creates a scheduling nightmare for Rich because of Noah's school schedule and his work schedule. And 3) parenting Noah is stressful and exhausting with two of us, with just one of us for more than a couple days it is beyond tough. The few times one of us has had to go away we usually have to get a baby sitter, which of course costs money. For just a day or two its doable, but beyond that... Well, lets just say the budget is tight right now, in large part because of Noah's therapy and doctor bills.

Today my boss told me there is a week long training program she wants me to go to this summer in Minnesota. It would definitely be useful for what I do and would significantly increase my knowledge in this area.

But, to be gone for a week would be a logistical nightmare for Rich. And would be intensely stressful. And would cost us several hundred dollars in babysitting fees, when we are already paying for summer camp at that time for Noah and daycare for Kiel.

And more importantly, I really don't think I could be away from Kiel for that long. I don't even know how to explain it, but he and I are so connected that I think I would be just as miserable as he would be to be apart like that.

So missing my kids aside, if theoretically doing something like this is going to cost me close to half of what my take home pay is for the week, does it make sense?

I know my boss can ask me to go and that the company has no responsibility to help me with baby sitting expenses. I'm sure I could also say that I can't go, although that wouldn't be the most prudent thing to do for my career.

I guess I'm just thinking out loud here. Feel free to throw out any ideas you might have on how to figure this out so it doesn't end up costing us money, and more importantly, Rich isn't put through hell for a week.

Just remember we have no family that can help out and unless things change in the next six months, Noah doesn't have friends that are local that he could spend time with either.

My presentation on Attachment Disorder

So instead of writing about the presentation on attachment disorder that I gave to Noah's teachers etc. several weeks ago, I wrote about the Race for Education labels and the principals reaction.

As an aside, I'm apparently somewhat infamous because of that. One of Noah's therapists told me she was talking with a Mom at a school in another district that is doing the fund raiser and the Mom told her she heard that someone in our school district had turned in a sheet of addresses that had the president on it and other famous people. I'm like the underground hero of the "I'm not a PTA mom" crowd. Ha!

But anyway, that day was really about the presentation. And for everyone but the principal it was.

I had 45 minutes to educate about attachment disorder and get them to understand why I think it is Noah's primary issue. I did a Power Point presentation to try and make the best use of my time. Plus, then I could give them hard copies.

I filled it with pictures of Noah, interspersed amongst the information on the brain and the symptoms and behaviors. I really wanted to grab them emotionally while at the same time I was educating them.

Since one of the primary goals was also to get them to understand why I think his behaviors have to do with attachment disorder than with PDD I wanted to make an impact with the science of the brain and really get them to understand how devastating the first six months of his life were to him.

I want to thank Corey from Watching the Waters who responded to my angst filled email asking for help. I first found Corey shortly after I wrote Return Receipt Requested last spring. I believe someone commented on my post and that comment led me to another post, which then led me to Corey's blog. It was definitely one of those moments that happened at just the time for me that I needed it to. Reading Corey's blog is what made me realize that Noah was showing attachment disordered behaviors like her kids do. In some ways Corey saved me.

I also need to thank Diana at Gold to Refine who had recently done a presentation of her own to her kids school. She graciously gave me some of the graphics she used and some wording suggestions. Such a wonderful woman. She didn't know me at all, yet immediately jumped to my aid when I asked.

Although I haven't received feedback from everyone there, I do believe it was well received. No one was rushing to leave at the 45 minute mark, and I didn't see anyone checking their iPhones, etc. It was very clear that the younger teachers bought into it emotionally. One of the therapists said it was like an in service and was worthy of CE credits.

I was pleased with what I put together and how I presented it, even if the principal didn't seem to buy into it at all.

Some of the therapists have asked for copies and if they can take some of the information from it to use in training.

I've also given the presentation to Noah's karate instructors to look at.

My next thought is to shorten it and maybe even simplify it a bit, so I can give it to the nonprofessionals that work with him, such as the bus drivers, his soccer coach, etc.

If any of you are considering doing the same thing and would like to look at mine let me know.

Consider this my Sunday gift to you!

Are you reading Sleep Talkin' Man?

If not you should! And don't just read it, listen to it.

Sexy sounding Englishman saying hysterical things in his sleep. Awesome hysterical things in his sleep.

Seriously. Go. Listen.

You can thank me later.

Today was Noah's last soccer game of the season.

All the kids received a trophy.

I love this picture because I think he still looks like a little boy in it, even though he definitely is not anymore.

I just had to get a shot of the mud on his face, even if this isn't the dirtiest he has come home after a game.

And here he is all cleaned up! Check out how curly that hair is.

Posts up on my review blog

I have two reviews and a review/giveaway up on my review blog. 

So head on over to MNT Review Blog and check them out.

When my child is attacked

Noah was attacked on the bus the other day. By a girl.

You may remember he rides one of the special ed buses. The kids on his bus are also in emotional support classes like he is. Yesterday he was one of only three kids on the bus. There is also an adult aid and the bus driver.

The woman who drives the bus and the aid are so nice. You can tell they love the kids. They have always been understanding and supportive of Noah. And best of all, if we aren't waiting for the bus they call me to let me know they are there!

So understanding that the kids that ride his bus have emotional and behavior problems I assumed that the adults on the bus are trained to deal with the children if they are out of control.

What I saw yesterday didn't exactly support that.

When Noah got on the bus yesterday the one female student that rides the bus was out of her seat. I thought she was looking at the Halloween decorations that we still have on our door. Noah sat in his usual seat and the aid helped him buckle his seat belt. The girl was standing behind Noah and grabbed his hair. Since the aid was standing right there I assumed the girl was just teasing Noah and touching his hair. It wasn't until later that I understood she was grabbing it and pulling.

What confuses me is that as the bus drove away the aid never touched her. I assume she told  her to sit down but did nothing to enforce it. I did see her sit down just before they were out of sight. The aid sat down herself several rows in front of her.

An hour or so later the school nurse called to tell me that Noah had a couple scratches on his hand from an altercation on the bus. That was when I realized it was more serious.

When Noah got home that afternoon he told me what happened and that he and the other boy had to protect themselves by using arm blocks (like he learned in karate). The other boy was hit in the head. Noah also had a scratch on his nose.

Today I found out that the girl has been removed from the bus. Noah said she is also going to be going to a new school. 

I feel bad for her, and for her parents. I know this isn't the first time she has been violent. I can only imagine that they are dealing with some scary mental health issues, considering the stories I have heard. 

Noah handled himself well during the incident, and I am very proud of him.

I've been in contact with the principal (you know, my biggest fan) via email. This is part of the email I sent last night:

I hesitate to write this email because I am not trying to cause problems from the women that drive Noah's bus. I also don't want to create more problems for the child that was involved. As the parent of a child with emotional problems I understand the complexity of the issues our children deal with every day. However, as a parent it is important that I express concerns when I think my child's safety may be at risk. I'm concerned that the bus personnel do not have the appropriate training to effectively provide the level of behavior support that the children that ride that bus need. Yesterday was not the first time I witnessed children out of their seats and moving around on the bus, or showing other aggressive or out of control behaviors. If a child is so out of control they are attacking another child, I believe it is a reasonable expectation that the adults supervising will restrain the child to ensure that another child is not harmed. If Noah was the one harming another child I would want, and expect, that an adult would intervene physically if needed. Knowing that the children riding this bus might require this type of intervention, I also expect that the personnel are properly trained in how to restrain a child and when it is appropriate to do so. Are these unrealistic expectations? I would appreciate it if you could provide me with documentation regarding the training that is provided to the drivers and their assistants on the special education buses and what reasonable expectations I should have as a parent in this regard. I would also like to know what is being done to ensure that an incident like this is more appropriately handled in the future, or better yet prevented entirely. I would be happy to discuss my concerns with you personally.

The principal responded late this afternoon to say she had forwarded my concerns to the appropriate people in the school district. It will be interesting to see how they respond.

I'm not trying to create problems for anyone, and I hope I made that clear. I do want to ensure they their review policies and training and make sure that the people working with our kids are properly trained and prepared. I also want to make sure I know what their policies are.

I'm somewhat expecting to get a response having to do with "budget limitations." 

What do you think? Are my expectations unreasonable?