Monday, June 14, 2010

I'm taking back my blog!

I heard some sad and definitely unwelcome news today. The Silicon Valley Moms Group, of which the Philly Moms Blog is part, is closing their doors July 1. I know this news came as a shock to many of us who write for them.

I've only been writing for PMB since the beginning of the year, but it has been an amazing experience. It was a leap for me at the time. While I have been writing on MNT for almost five years, I wasn't sure I was ready to write somewhere else, especially for something as big as SVMG. The opportunity came at a time though when I wasn't feeling particularly safe writing what I was really feeling here, on MNT. So even though I knew my voice was going to be different writing for PMB, it offered me a place to continue to write and to stretch a bit beyond my comfort zone. Obviously I didn't stretch too far on a few posts, since I still managed to write about boogers and my crazy kids. However, I also managed to get one of my posts published/syndicated (I'm still not sure of the actual term), which just fed my bug to write. Because while I write for many reasons, one of reasons is that I like knowing that people read me!

I have no doubts that I'll find another place to continue to learn and grow with my writing, outside of MNT, but I think right now this is a good time to refocus on my own blog and why I started writing here in the first place.

Almost five years ago I started Mama Sparklykatt (my first blog) to have a place to document Noah's childhood and to give myself a safe place to vent. For months it was just me. And then I received my first comment. And gradually I gained an audience. Readers that connected with me over adoption, parenting, special needs, infertility, etc.. Readers that I have become friends with.

Over the last five years I've learned a lot; about myself, about parenting, about how I want to live my life. I've written many things I'm proud of. I've written a few things that frankly stunk. Only once have I removed a post (that I later decided was not my story to tell). I have written many things that I never posted and that still sit in my drafts box. I am incredibly proud of what I have created here on MNT, and have no plans to stop it. 

Some of you have contacted me and asked me what is going on. Some of you have noticed that my writing has changed. And it has. And to those of you who noticed, I say THANK YOU! Because wow, knowing that people read me that closely, to notice something is different, well, all I can say is WOW. And again, THANK YOU!

Several months ago a couple members of my family started reading my blog. While anyone is welcome to read here, as I am in the public domain after all, knowing my family was reading was, well, strange. And made me feel very vulnerable. Especially since at the time those members of my family were not communicating with me. And whether they were or not, I felt that I was being judged. Since I was already very sensitive to family criticism, especially about my parenting, I stopped putting myself out there in my writing in the same way as I had before. And I stopped documenting what is going on with Noah in the same way. 

And for seven months I have not enjoyed writing on my own blog as I did before. I have censored myself. And I stopped using my writing to help me work through my feelings. And by doing that I haven't been fair to myself, and I haven't been fair to my readers who come here (at least I hope) because of my honesty and not just because I talk about sex and my frankenvulva.

So I'm going to work on getting back to the MNT I was once proud of. The MNT that wrote honestly and connected. I ask you to reconnect with me, and call me out if I act scared again.

If you don't like what I write, don't read it. It's as simple as that. I'm taking back my blog!



  1. I'm sorry about the SV news too! I started with the DC site I stopped last fall due to time constraints, but was getting ready to cone back.. . .

  2. OMG, we seriously are twins in so many ways... I am going through some of the same stuff with my blog! I am so glad you are back! I need to make my comeback here soon!

  3. Everybody and their brother reads my blog and I know what it's like feeling vulnerable. Friends, family, my husband. We gained custody of my 2 nieces back in February and I've had to write some not so great stuff about that situation and with my sister. It's hard when you feel like you might step on toes but I've learned that it's my life and my blog.

    Welcome back!

  4. I am so sad about the closing of SV Moms. I had only just begun.... I hope, in the end, maybe someone will "buy them out" and continue. It's such a big name!

    Anyhow, I'm glad you're back. Because you know, I'm your biggest stalker!

  5. I will be an ass and say that i didn't really notice as I had my own domain for a bit and it don't show the update on my blogroll and I had to manually click on a blog...I do remember your chaotic camp stories from last summer. Hope all is well.

  6. It sounds like there may be some plans to jump start a new blog network based on the old SVMoms group. If this isn't happening already in Philly, talk to a few of your friends and consider starting something on your own! A regional group blog is fun, build great relationships, and also helps the contributors gain visibility and traction in the space.

  7. Personally I love reading your blog because it is so honest. I get tired of reading about how perfect everyone's life is on certain blogs, when you damn well know they are suffering the same challenges the rest of us moms are. You make me feel less crazy about wanting to sell my children at times and you certainly make me laugh out loud on many occasions!