Thursday, March 26, 2009

A Kiss is Just a Kiss...until it vibrates and tickles that is!

In the interest of keeping this blog "family friendly" and not shocking anyone, I've moved this review here to the MNT Review Blog.



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Time to end the drama...

Finally heard from my parents.

In the form of a three page letter. Snail mail.

Part of me wants to post it here but I'm going to refrain for now. It starts and ends with "we don't want to hurt you, but..." and is all "you are a disrespectful daughter and an ineffective parent that lets her kids run the show" in the middle.

Apparently since college I have frequently spoken rudely to them and am just plain nasty. They are no longer going to tolerate it.

But they do want me to be happy. (yes, they really said that)

So, ummm...yeah, now what...

I'm still processing. Trying to reconcile their obviously negative view of me with how I see myself.

I'm also trying to figure out their revisionist history, which includes my grandmother being my mom's best friend. All I can say to that is "In what universe?"

My therapist has me reading a book called The Borderline Parent, about adult children who had a parent with borderline personality disorder, which she thinks may fit my parents. My homework for her is to write them a letter disputing their letter, or explaining why I feel the way I do, or perhaps both. But not to send it!

I honestly don't believe there is anything I can do that is going to change how they see me or my life. I just need to learn to accept them as the limited emotional people they are and move on. I certainly don't think there will be much/any contact with them in the near future.


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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Hunting and gathering or obsessive/compulsive?

Just when you we think we have things under control with Noah something new pops up. Isn't that the way it always is?

Noah has started hording things. And taking things that aren't his. We've noticed some things coming home in his backpack from school. Sometimes he tells us someone gave it to him, and sometimes he says he "found" it. The other day he came home with a pair of headsets that he said one of the boys in his class gave him. Then he told us he got it from point shopping (one of the rewards they get in his class). The inconsistent story told us something was up, so we sent them back in to school and I emailed his teacher.

It turns out he is frequently taking things from other students and saying they are his. He apparently has a real problem with taking and hording pencils for example.

He's also been taking things in to school with him from home and giving them to his friends. He has always been very generous with his things; frequently offering to share them or give them to us, or his friends.

He has a few minutes every morning where he is by himself while I finish getting dressed. Usually he just watches TV, but a few times I've been able to tell he's been "hunting and gathering." I really didn't think much about it since I'm just used to him assuming everything in the house is his and figured that was kind of age appropriate.

I'm going to have to start checking his backpack before he leaves in the morning just to make sure we have some sort of control on what is going in so his teachers have a better idea of where he is getting things from.

His teacher is wondering if it is some sort of obsessive/compulsive behavior and I think she may be on the right track.

Time for another call to his doctor...



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Friday, March 20, 2009

Two questions

I'm finishing up a huge project at work today. Have big plans for this blog once I can breath again!

But in the mean time, I have two quick questions for you.

1. My Dad's birthday is a week from Saturday. For those of you that know all the drama that has been going on between me and my parents I need some advice. Do I have to call him on his birthday? I have cards to send and Noah will draw him a picture. I could even send him flowers (was thinking a nice prickly cactus plant in a rock garden would be rather nice, actually). But do I really need to make a phone call? Which I absolutely dread! Given they have made no contact with me since Xmas other than that bizarre email about what did I want when they were dead.

2. And a much more fun question! I've been given the opportunity to review a "toy" from www.edenfantasys.com. I'm hoping it arrives today! So my question is, are any of you going to get offended if I talk about sex on my blog? And sex toys? And my search for the elusive G-spot? What do you think? Will I gain or lose readers? Do I care? Did I mention free sex toys baby?!?

I hope I it comes today!



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Sunday, March 08, 2009

Chocolate, coffee, fiber, and a give-a-way!

***And the winners are........Pixiemrrr, Meghan and Stacy. Congrats! You should have received an email from me already.***


Recently like three weeks ago because I suck at doing anything in a timely manner I was given an opportunity to review the new Fiber One Chocolate Mocha Chewy Bars and receive a spa break gift basket. Now, I'm not one to turn down a chance to try something new that involves chocolate, so I jumped right on that offer!

The Fiber One Chocolate Mocha Chewy Bars were described as combination of "a rich chocolate taste and smooth coffee flavor with the benefits of fiber in one delicious snack. Each great tasting, chewy bar provides 35% of the recommended daily fiber intake and also is a good source of calcium."

Now, I'm not a huge coffee fan, so I was a little leery when they arrived and I remembered that mocha was coffee, cause duh, and I guess I didn't read the actual email that clearly said that, because once I read the word "chocolate" and "offer to review" I hit reply and said "yes." But I tried them, because that is what I promised to do. And Oh.My.Gosh! Maybe I do like coffee! Because these were really good. And I'm not just saying that.

They have 140 calories per bar, 9 grams of fiber, 2 grams of protein and 4 grams of fat. And did I mention they taste good?

Risking the TMI category again here, but I just haven't been as regular as I used to be since having Kiel. So adding some extra fiber to my diet should be a good thing. I'm going to get a box and keep at work for that mid-afternoon snack break. I think I'll try one of the peanut butter flavors next.

Noah liked them too, and since we continue to have problems with his encopresis I think we are going to get some for him too instead of regular granola bars.

And the BEST PART of this is that I get to give away THREE, yes THREE spa break baskets to my readers!


You will receive the bath pillow, soap, bath salts, lotion and a candle (all chocolate flavored) plus a coupon for a free box of Fiber One Chewy Bars.

And if you don't win one of the three spa break baskets which would be surprising since I think I only have three readers, you can print out one of these $1.35 off coupons.

I must leave you with one piece of advice though. The cellophane wrapped bar that looks like chocolate? Yeah, not chocolate. Soap! Remember this, Soap!

So, if you would like to win a box of Fiber One Chewy Bars and a spa break basket leave a comment on this post and I'll randomly pick three next Sunday. Just make sure you leave a way for me to contact you in the comment. So many of my commenter's end up showing up as a "no-reply" email because they haven't checked the option to share their email address in their blogger profiles.



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Saturday, March 07, 2009

He thinks they hate him

The other day Noah received a card in the mail. It was from my mother. It was a fairly typical Grandma to Grandson note.

I'm happy that my mother is making an effort with my kids, even if she refuses contact me with.

But that's not why I'm writing this.

After we read the card to Noah, he looked at us, confusion on his face.

"But I thought Mom Mom and PaPa hated me," he said.

"Oh baby, of course they don't hate you, why would you think that?" I said.

"Because they made us leave their house."


I have tried very hard to not say anything in front of Noah about my parents. I really think Rich and I have done a good job about not letting him know what is really going on.

It just kills me that he would think they hate him. I honestly have no idea what they really think of him, but I know they don't hate him.

I want to tell my mother this, but I know she'll just blame me for putting the idea in his head.


Thursday, March 05, 2009

Lifetime TV is looking for an LA couple for a new series.

I received an email from a casting producing for Lifetime television regarding a new series. They are looking for a married couple in the LA area.

If you live in the LA area and are interested shoot me an email at mommyneedstherapy@gmail.com and I'll forward the information on to you.


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Tuesday, March 03, 2009

My baby won't eat!

I'm starting to dread meal time with Kiel. He is the pickiest eater I have ever seen. And he is only 15 months old!

I have no idea what I am doing wrong!

He won't even try most foods.

Besides the boob, soy milk or formula, this is what he will eat:

oatmeal
pancakes or waffles
pb&j sandwiches (most of the time)
crackers
Cheerios
soy yogurt
scrambled eggs
chicken nuggets (most of the time)
french fries
carrots (most of the time)
hot dogs (sometimes)
baked beans (sometimes)
chicken (occasionally)
pasta (occasionally)
mashed potatoes
sweet potatoes
pretzels
and of course cookies, cake, candy etc.

To add to the difficulty, he is allergic to milk products so cheese, regular yogurt, etc. are out.

There are no fruits that he will currently eat. Not even bananas! Don't all kids love bananas?

When he was eating baby food I made all of it myself. I gave him a pretty good variety of fruits and vegetables and there really wasn't anything he wouldn't eat. He loved fruit then and most vegetables.

I keep buying new things and trying them with him, and he refuses to even put them in his mouth. I try not to pressure him. I offer it to him several times as the "experts" suggest. I pack a combination of things I'm pretty sure he will eat and a couple things I'm not sure of when I send him to daycare. At home I usually offer a variety of things as well, although sometimes I'm so tired of the struggle that I just give him what I know he'll eat. Although this weekend he wouldn't eat pb&j, so that isn't a guarantee either.

Noah at this age ate pretty much everything we offered him. He's picky now, but I think he's fairly typical of most kids his age.

I'm worried that Kiel isn't getting enough to eat now. And he's definitely not getting the right nutrition. I'm giving him formula to drink instead of water or juice just so I know he's getting something. I'm not really sure that's the right answer though.

I have his next checkup soon, so I'll ask the doctor, but I doubt they'll have any more to offer than keep trying.

So what do all you mom's and dad's do? Any suggestions on things I can try?



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Monday, March 02, 2009

This may just be the grossest post I've ever written.

Subtitle: Oz, you may not want to read this one.

When I was a senior in high school I had this pair of white pants. I thought I looked so cute in them. I wore them with a pink top or a red top, depending on my mood. They were probably painter style pants, and I bet I pegged the legs. It was the 80's...I was in fashion!

One day I wore them to school, and midway through the day I got my period. Of course I didn't notice until I had bled through my pants. I of course was horrified. I don't think anyone noticed, but clearly I couldn't stay at school that way.

My cousin had driven us to school that day. I got permission from the office to get her out of class so she could take me home and I could change.

But that presented a dilemma. If I went home, then came back to school with different clothes on, wouldn't it be SO OBVIOUS to EVERYONE why I had to change? I mean, oh my gawd, all the boys will KNOW!

So, we came up with a story.

I left my curling iron on, and just remembered, so I had to go home to turn it off. And while there, I decided to throw a couple logs in the wood stove. But I got soot on my pants while doing it, so I had to change them. Clever huh?

I remember all that so well. What I don't remember is if anyone actually asked me, or even noticed, why I had changed my pants.

Now, fast forward 23 years. Shut up, yes, I'm old damn it.

As I said a couple weeks ago Aunt Flo decided to make a visit after a two year pregnancy/breastfeeding induced hiatus. I was mistaken though. It wasn't Aunt Flo last month, it was her second cousin Spotsabit. I didn't realize it until this month though when that mean mother fucker Aunt Flo really did come to visit. And when I saw come to visit I mean she set up camp in my uterus and decided to redecorate. At least I think that is what she was doing considering she got rid of everything in there.

Unfortunately for me, and my office chair, she decided to get rid of a large portion of the "trash" in one toss, after taking an approximately 12 hour break. (You know, that break where you think she's finally moved on out to visit someone else for a few weeks. So you let down your guard a bit.)

So there I sit, and whoosh. Which I hope is enough of a description because I'm running out of euphemisms. Let's just say when I stood up to check it out, I realized I had not accidentally sat on a strawberry. And then I felt it again. And I momentarily thought maybe I was hemorrhaging. So in the middle of my office (after shutting and locking my door of course) I dropped my pants to check it out. And did what I could to clean up with some Cozi napkins that I had left over from lunch.

Then I called my boss, whose office if like ten yards away from mine, told her I had to go home, and slunk out the back door.

At least this time my pants were black, and my car has leather seats.

So what's your worst period in public related story?



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